‘I read the first part of your supposedly great love story.’ She looked like an angel who had just decided to play demon.
‘Did you like it?’
‘Not quite.’ She answered. Briskly.
‘Because..?’
‘Because your posts suck in general and if I had to choose one soul to write love stories, you would be last person that I would go to.’ She was expressionless.
‘You know I am not quite good at taking criticism.’
‘Wake up boy! You think you are ‘author enough’ to invoke criticism??!’ She was rude downright.
‘You definitely have a point.’ I said.
‘You seem quite unhappy the way I have portrayed you. Is that the reason you are so upset?’ I knew I was correct but I asked anyway.
‘Yes. I thought I deserved a better and a bigger introduction in your first post.’
‘And I thought women loved being mysterious! I could have definitely written more on you but given the fact that I suck in general when it comes to writing characters and specifically female characters I decided to be as succinct as possible.’ I knew I had a point.
‘That is one lousy excuse! How do you propose to write me if you don’t even know me??’ She also had a point.
‘Ok. The first way of putting forward my case was not the best one I guess. I always thought that honesty was what every one and specifically the female gender wanted. Gotta work on that now.’ I confessed.
‘So forget what I said before. The only reason that I was so reserved about your character was my genuine intention of making your character ambiguous and mysterious and not because I thought that I was not up to the task.’ I finished it as quickly as possible.
‘Comehhon! Be a man! Stick to what you said before.’ She did not trust me with anything. No wonder she was perplexed that I was writing a story on her life.
‘Ok! But wouldn’t that create a vicious cycle now. I don’t want to be remembered as a man who couldn’t stick to any thing at all. So I am sticking to my second case. And I thought it was not about proving that I am a man anyway. It was about convincing you that you were in safe hands. So iterating what I had said before, your character will be well-explored eventually. People will fall in love with your character babe!’ I knew I wouldn’t be able to convince her. I knew so much about her.
‘You know you have lost your credibility.’ She seemed indifferent.
‘They always say that once you lose your credibility, it’s impossible to reclaim again. I have found it interesting to do what they say is impossible. Yeah, that’s my mission. To regain my credibility.’ I was almost lyrical.
‘”They”??? Who are “They” anyway?? Don’t tell me you are gonna introduce “Them” also after introducing yourself as “I”?! People are already bored to death with “He” and “She” shit. Why don’t you just name us? That would make even your life easier. You surely don’t want to use fucking *beep* when I call him by his name, right?’ She was lyrical too.
‘Why??! What’s wrong in using pronouns in place of names? Firstly, you don’t have to worry about the pain that u must get into when you start searching for names of protagonists. And secondly, anyone could be “He” or “She”. Saurabh, Vijyendra, Manendra, Javend, Akash, Shobhit, Manish, Abhishek. “He” could be anyone and everyone. Doesn’t the success of a story depend on the number of people that see themselves as characters of that story?’ I was at my best.
‘I thought you were gonna write-down names for “She” too! Havent got any girl-friennds. Have ya?’ She was at her best too.
‘Ohh! I have. So many of them. I just don’t want them to know each other’s name!’ I lie at random hours. The only question was whether it was indeed a random hour.
‘So are you gonna continue writing me? She inquired. She wanted to talk about the story and it made me happy.
‘Yess! I think so. Rather I hope so.’
‘Are you gonna make me fall in love with him? Or is it gonna be you? Holy cow! The ‘Virgin Mary’ that you talked about in last post who could have got the chance of screwing the heroine of greatest-love-story-ever-told was not you, right??! Don’t do that! I would rather die first, you know!’
‘You know, you should help me write this story. This could be the single most important turn in the whole schema of this love story.’
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Wednesday, December 12, 2007
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