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I want to write something funny. But after becoming 24 I don’t feel that need to impress the crowd. But I still want to write something funny. Gotta remind myself.


I am sure if I had not written the above line and just gone ahead with whatever funny – crap I had, it would have been nice. But then I like starting from the start. I used to read prefaces of my text books. Who does that?!


We take things for so bloody granted. And it turns out that we do quite ok with all the assumptions and ignorance. What were the chances that I would know you – but I do. And aren’t you just happy that you know a wonderful and brilliant personality like me?! I don’t like quoting someone. I would rather forge it as something my own. But still our VP once - in one of those sessions which are supposed to prove the authority - quite casually said that life is a truth table. So many things have to go right to have a job successfully completed. And I liked that.


And what the fuck are our priorities??! Seriously. Most useless things occupy our minds for most of the times. Yes, I am talking on everyone’s behalf. Our happiness is so much dependent on others. Our existence needs validation. We are so confused. Experimenting in our urge to discover ourselves. And that sounds ok. Right! But what exactly is ours? what is something that makes us happy. And it will make you happy whenever you see it. It can be taken away from you. But you will still feel happy thinking about it. Yes – now I will give examples like – solving a really tough physics problem or the thought of having a smoke with a friend in staff canteen – and people will think of the anticlimax and how I could not justify the build up.


Boy1! I am on a roll!





Why is starting a post so difficult?


I was thinking about the nature of anonymous comments. Don’t you just love them?! I used to be an anonymous commentator when I believed that commenting on someone’s space for publicity was sin. And that was the case for more than a year or two. Anyway, the point is that anonymous comments are fun. They are witty. Seriously. I remember that when I used to be an anonymous, I was funny. It was like a responsibility I had to keep the reputation of the prestigious group up and high. And you don’t have to be bothered about the limitations on the word you put in a comment. Being anonymous sets you free. I miss being anonymous. So if you are a blogger you should never ban anonymous comment. There will be shit, dirt and mud but hopefully you will get to see one comment that will make up for everything.


And I want to talk about shamita shetty. I love her in the song – you are my mind blowing mahiya. I also like the video of the remixed version of – woh lamhe, who baatein. I love the way different people dance at different places. Don’t you just love seeing people dance. You wish you could dance like you don’t care. Oh you do dance like no ones watching?? Its just me then. (yaa, its an inside joke that I share with myself)


I also like Jason bourne. The man is reliable. You know that nothing is going to hurt him. And I loved bourne ultimatum. I also love watching same movies again and again. I am using love so many times that it makes me uncomfortable. Man should use these ambiguous and impractical references to score (some runs). So I just watched this movie again. And I thought that being an assassin on run should be fun. There was this particular scene where bourne comes to see off nikki parson after she has got herself in trouble for helping him – they say nothing. They just look in each others eye for half a second and she leaves. And this time round when I watched this movie, I thot – wow! That’s some scene.


And so I have said this before that my short term memory is quite bad. But a friend told me accidently that my long term memory was good and I want to believe that. And I am ignorant – I have said that before. May be when I grow old and successful I will tell people that thing didn’t catch my attention pretty easily. And talking of things – I am a lausy user of my eyes. Its like I am committing blasphemy by not observing the beauty that has so many times inspired the poets and sent strong man with weak will power to jail. Yeah, I was trying to be funny there. But I don’t usually stare at the fairer sex. May be it comes from my own self low esteem. Yeah, why am I still hitting myself?


So, bourne is my hero. Reliability. I also liked howard roarks character. Uncomproming. What is the one word that defines me? And I actually thought about it. As always such questions are better left unanswered. But I know I am one of the good guys. And I hope to be one of them. And I know that there is a high chance that I will change for worse because we live in a world that works on supply and demand and nothing is absolute.


So we went to watch shortKUT the other night. It was a horrible movie as expected. The strange thing is tht even I dint like it. So we sat there for two hours and one of the friends suggests that we leave in middle. I said tht its against the law. Few minutes later two girl sitting some five seats left to us in the row next to us leave. I am sure they heard our conversation and it enlightened upon their poor souls that they don’t have to go through the torture. They are not tied to their chairs and they can actually leave theatre. The joy that must have come with that feeling! Don’t you just love it?


So another close friend got married. The responsibility that comes with it. Great ho. But they are still my friends and I can always go uninvited and have some free lunch.


And I took some training on SAS macros as well. Don’t you just love it – wen you can actually pretend confidently that you know your shit?!

We will we will rock you.


I am waiting for that rare moment when I get truly impressed by my own genius. But as you get older you get lesser chances of doing that. But then again, as you get older your expectations are properly set. They suddenly become reasonable. And you don’t really need that rare moment to keep you up and going. I am full of shit.


I am working on something that I have come to believe that I will never be able to complete. But never say never. Right after finishing this, I am going to finish that as well.


I have always believed that I don’t like changes. At least the changes that you are fully aware of. The changes that require you to prepare, to adjust. But we always wait for the event that will turn our world upside down. Make us feel the extreme. Talking of extreme.. ‘extreme maal’ is a word that I am proud to have invented. Still looking for the ‘extreme maal’.


And I have to write this. I should know that I am putting in effort to write this.


So this time around, one fine night while I was at my office, I had my dinner and then I went for a smoke. It was a Friday and everyone from the team had left. And as you know when you are alone you tend to asses the life you have had. The life you are leading. And its definitely not one of the things that make you proud. You start thinking how you ended up like this. You were much better. And when you have so much going on in your head, a smoke is what you desire.


And I finished my smoke. And made my way back to the office. And bang. A literal bang. Damn glass doors! And for a second everything was blank and I could see the mess inside my head coming out of it.


Sometimes you need the bang.


I hate writing one liners to end the posts.