So I think. If I am really stupid or I feel this shittedness because I am too intelligent. On my ‘supposedly’ one-on-one with my manager I was told that I have this great ability of being able to find mistakes in things. And also, (they told me) that I have got great potential and I am gonna go places. Now I am not sure if they say such things to every guy that they don’t give any raise to. And just now I realized that may be he was true afterall. May be this error-finding ‘great’ ability of mine is the reason I feel stupid everytime. Self-analysis will either kill me one day or make me a billionaire. Its not like I will either succeed or fail so the chances are 50-50. Odds are important here. If there were say 100 satish’s (plural for Satish) living in 100 parallel universes with exactly the same life as I have had till date (each one of them writing this blog on outlook and thinking whether the other 99 are thinking about him or not!), there will be only 1 (or 2, may be) satish who will live to spend his filthy sum of money on dog races and hostile takeovers (and on Russian whores, may be) and all others will die a death ranging from the death of a stray dog - who got hit by an auto accidentally – and that of a dog who chose death over life and purposely got onto the way of an unbreakable BMW.
And so I think. That how people become so important in one’s life. And how we think that life stinks everyday. And how really unimportant each one of us are. And how really really unimportant our problems must be. And still.. I think.
There are thousand things wrong with me. And yet I find it hard to find a single thing worthwhile in me. May be I should get the job of assistant trouble-shooter who wud obviously ‘assist’ his master in finding problems with the system.
And I am really not convinced myself if I am really gud at it. I am a lousy judge of men. Most of the times I don’t find it important to judge people. Most of the times I will give people more than ten chances of winning my admiration. Most of the times I will like to believe that I haven’t yet seen the best of that son of a bitch. Most of the time..
And for the people who believe that judging people is B-A-D-bad, I won’t say anything. With age, poise will come.
And have you heard of Macroman??! He is the most powerful man in the thousand universes. Even more powerful than Superman. But let me first give a brief introduction of macros. Wikipedia says, ‘A macro in computer science is a rule or pattern that specifies how a certain input sequence (often a sequence of characters) should be mapped to an output sequence (also often a sequence of characters) according to a defined procedure. The mapping process which instantiates a macro into a specific output sequence is known as macro expansion.’ I don’t understand a word of it. So two of the main tools extensively used in our work are 1) MS Excel(PPTs, Words bhi include kar lo yaar!) and 2)SAS, ie Statistical Analysis Software. So people who use excel and think that it’s a dumb tool, must perish in ignorance as I find it quite sophisticated and there is always something new that you could learn about it. Anyway, if you ask me, a macro is something that is used to automate lousy processes and thus increase efficiency and accuracy.
Macroman is the man who can write macros on any kind. He can write macro to create a nuclear bomb and another macro to change that nuclear bomb to a nuclear reactor. The man is a genious. Macroman is our man.