SO it's day third of Mood I, 'biggest college fest across the country' (make that Asia) as WE fondly like to put it while writing our resumes. So havent got a job yet. So, I planned that I wouldnt be doing much this MI(Mood Indigo and not mission impossible). But then Mr Pankaj Udash was coming and something inside me wanted to go and see him.However, I refused to go when my friends asked me to. And while watching rimi sen 'dancing' on the song 'shikdhum' I realized that I dont have to be do things that I dont want to do, I dont have to stay here and grunt and not go to the 'gazal nite' just bcoz i said no to my friends and if i did go ther it will make me a man who cant keep his words. Anyways, so i did attend the gazal nite the nite before last nite and watched KK sing 'sach kah raha hai diwana' from RHTDM which I didnt know (i knew the song, but i didnt know that he had sung it).

Anyway this post is not about them. This post is about Shantaram. yupp, Gregory David Roberts came here this afternoon. And it turned out to be the coolest thing so far in MI. So when he cracked a joke in the middle and cudnt get it, but I still laughed because i wanted to i knew that i have got to write a post on it. The great Sayesha bhai (, i dunno how to give link, and i can search web, but i dont want to.) kaa khayaal came to my mind and i thought 'wud i be able to discribe things the way she does?'. 'may be if i had a pen and paper i cud better'. anyway i know that i am in no going to be able to give you the feel of the great talk that i witnessed i am just going to write down things as they come to my mind. I want to look back at my past from a point in future and feel the energy that the man generated. for starters, mr roberts were convicted for 'bank robbery i guess' and given an imprisonment of 10 years as punishment. he was anyhow able to escape from it in broad day light, and landed in the city of dreams, here in mumbai. well, man has done almost every goddamn fancy crime one wud fantasise about. he told us many stories. and i dont know how or where to begin with. i think i sud just go on.

so at the age of 16, he fell in love with a 18 yrs old girl. he asked his parents to give him permission so that he cud marry her, as in australia u need parental permission to marry if u r below 18. they refused, so he left the house and started to live with her. worked in factories to earn, his love being pursueing her studies at that point of time. On the day he was 18 he married her. he however joined the night classes, topped in the whole state(hopefully) and got a scholarship for higher studies at any university in US. Then he talked about the vietnam war.and how young 18-19 yrs old guys were forced to go to war. however, he refused to go to war.. and something something happened. anyway, he was very active politically. and i think this post is being more as an account of events than my interpretations. is it??

anyways, i guess he came back to australia, or was in america, anyway his wife married some one else, and went 'somewher' leaving her 3 yrs old baby to him. for the first few months both of them did nothing but crying. but then he took her to university and she wud draw cartoons on paper while he studied. but after few months, his wife came back, her relationship with his new found love hadnt quite worked out. anyway she sued roberts to get the custody of their doughter and she won.

and that was the night when he was thinking about getting himself killed without creating much mess *laughs* when one of his friends at the university came to his house. he said' i heard about everything man, the sueing and all. i have got exactly the thing that you need'. and that was the first time when he had his first shot of heroin. wow. and he knew that as long as it was inside his system he can live in this world, which took everything away from him.

anyways, he kept maintaining that he is not proud of the things that he has done in past (he said that he is ashamed actually) and that he should have been stronger. he said a nice thing at the start. he said - 'while you might think that your faimily is gone, amd you have got nothing to be living for, the truth is that you should work hard, and you should save money. bcuz one day your offsprings are going to come back in your search, and that day you have got to say that 'look son, i have saved this much amount of money. wher sud we go to celebrate??'.' man, u wer awesome.

anyways he talked about his whole life. and i think that he is no longer stranger to me. and he did talk about mumbai.. india. he even said sentenses in hindi. " aye, Lahsun. side de naa.' and the thing that i liked most about him was that he always refered to mumbai and its people as 'us'. i felt that here is a man who is not a gora, a man who is even more indian than many of us. he told a lot of stories. and i hate typing. i have already said enough. may be i ll write about him later again. and yes, i got his autograph ( it actually looks like a graph, and i dont know how i am going to make people believe that its his sign!) on a 100 rupee note.`

okk! i will write more i think. he said that a girl once asked him if she wud be able to roam around freely if she were in australia, and he actually tgave the answer as no. mumbai..umm, may be. and he said some awesome sentences of how every man has a crystal(or something) that relates him to god, who has given us the unique ability to love and communicate, which makes him believe that the future of world can not be like the one that exists in england, australia or america. the future of world has got to be like india, or more so like mumbai,

'mumbai is not a city.' he said. then he defined city for us. a villege wen develops a bit, it transforms into a town. and wen a town is so big that it needs a pipe to carry its shit, its a town. yaa, a efficient plumbing system is what defines a city. he said that this city doesnt have basic facility for all of its inhabitant. he was particularly concerned abt women. he said that he was happy that women wer more free now 'bcos its ther goddamn right'.

he also talked baout johnny depp. i am a huge fan of depp and i am happy that i got to listen gud things about him. how he had different offers from differnt movie makers but he wanted to give it to johnny depp bcos he talked abt india and its people. anyways, the biggest bid actually came from warner bros and so it was happy happy situation for everyone. man i sud stop.

almost famous!

 just saw this movie. god, i am not gonna waste any time now watching bad-teen-with-lodsa-chicks movie. a must watch.

'What am I going to write now?' is the important question that i know i woudnt be able to answer right now. The question is indeed important though, that it has at least helped me start a new post. But I know it is annoying. Even I am annoyed. I mean why the hell do you want to write if you have absolutely nothing worth sharing to other people?! But then this is what I want to be good at. Speaking to others without actually contributing anything. Yaa, I have been attending some of the GD/PI sessions, and this is what I have learnt so far. If you think that I did absolutely nothing in those mock GDs then you are absolutely right. I always thought I was very confident. That I would prove myself if situation calls for it. But then now I know for sure that I dont have even a wee tiny bit of this mysterious thing called confidence. And I wonder whether I was better off not realizing it uptil now. I feel that I am going down, getting worse, as I am getting older. I feel nothing. I am not working on any of my shortfalls. I wonder if this is the situation, the 'dont quit' poem was written for. But I am not sticking to my beliefs, I am going down. And I dont care if I dont ever manage to come up. But somewhere I feel I will.

One More!

Well, This is another lame attempt from my side to write the funniest post of this era. I know that sounds corny(at least at this blog) but I am seriously serious. The idea is that if you really think hard, and work your ass out to achieve something, chances are that you most probably will. Well, this is a new thing for me too for I have never tried really hard to achieve something. But somehow I have been able to do just fine in at least some of the courses that I have taken. Courses?? yeah, I havent flunked in any of them, but then I havent really done anything extraordinary either. I havent even got any AA in four years when I was supposedly studying chemical engineering. But that is not the point. So what is the point? 'Law of diminishing returns', is the phrase that comes into the mind. I mean you study a bit you get a CC, you study little harder you would end up with BB. But to change an AB to AA you have got to put a lot of efforts. So how does this example relate to this post? I can be funny, that's for sure, but for being funnier I guess I would have to think. It is not going to come naturally to me. I am feeling like I have made a horrible opening, but I hope at the end of the post I would have something worth some appreciation. I have absolutely no idea how I am going to live up to the high standards that I have set for myself.

I am thinking of giving up this whole funny thing altogether. But is it this hard to be funny? Naah! Originality is the main issue. But atthis particular point in time I cant even think of anyone to borrow ideas from. I think I am just going to do some idiotic thing that would make you feel that there are people more idiots than you. Was that sarcastic??! Ab 'funny' nahin ho paa raha hai, toh I guess I am trying to be sarcastic. But even that hasnt got that extra bit of laughing riot in it. May be I should just give up. Duniya pahle se hee bahut pradushit hai. Pradushit. It is not any new kind of shit. Yupp! Pollution! No prize for guessing. Sometimes I wonder that thinking aloud for creating something which gives you a sense of accomplishment is such a nice feeling. You get something solid to look at at the end of the day. And new ideas have such a large impact on the lives of people. Man, I have wasted my whole life uptil now, but now onwards I am going to think. Think aloud. I guess this pathetic blog of mine is going to get the recognition that it so truly deserves only after me becoming a superstar in the blogging world. People will look at this blog, and say 'look, he was destined to be a superstar.'

And that is how life is. You have got to prove yourself just once. Like, I could have done exceptionally well in my BTP, got a paper published, and I might have got an offer of doing an MS from MIT (that is definitely not Maharashtra Institute of Technology) and my whole life could have changed. Or, I could jump from the window of my room which is at the second floor, and land safely on the ground, and be seen as a superhuman. Just once, we have got to prove ourselves. What is the big deal about it? This is not a rhetorical question. Seriously, what's the big deal about it??

I know I have digressed, and I will say that that was not intentional. But then nothing is unintentional when it comes to human mind, I presume. SOme where we know what the consequence of our action is going to be. Often times we just dont care, other times we do something stupid and lie to ourselves that we at least tried.

As the placement season is about to start I see myself as a perfect example of what not to do when you are studying in a prestigous college. I ask why would anyone want to hire me?? Would I hire myself. Ofcourse not. That is the point. COmpanies are not as smart as I am. I have got to pretend that I have got it all. 'Company ka chutiya kaatanaa hai' is how I fondly put it. And you may say that I am fooling myself, but believe me I am not. You may say that the companies have experience, and people who are going to interview you are the people who have themselves seen and lived the college life like your's, but believe me it can be done. One day is all they can get to choose, and that is seriously a very less amount of time for judging someone's chahracter. They might come to know the real me, and they might even fire me, after taking my over-priced services for a month or so, but a decent job at this point of time is all I need. I want to tell my mom that 'look maa. I am not going to fill a form for unemployment allowance because I got a job. I wouldnt sure be this cynic about making it big after I get a job, so even I get fored I am sure to land a good job in some other company. That way I would need around 60 companies in my 30 years long career. 60 is not that large a number right?? So this making fools of HR people, can be supported by various example. Like actors. They do it all the time. You see them on screen and you believe that Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan were destined to be together in Sleepless in Seattle. If they can fake love, hell I can definitely fake a persona that suits the company's profile. System have imperfections and one has to learn to exploit them. That is one of the reasons I like Matrix series movies. As long as you are powerful, you can always bend man-made rules. I said man-made because I see nature as the one example where you have got to follow the rules. Gravity is going to drag you down, but then you can use air to fly around. DIfferent ruled can be got around by applying different techniques. You need to be master.

When I was a kid, I dreamt of having some supernatural power, which would help me get loads of girls. Powers; like some of the kids in X-men have. But as I have grown-up, I have realised that we all have the important gradient necessary to achieve any power that we want. Trying hard to acheive them, makes you responsible and at the same time enjoy the power. I mean what is the mazza if someone comes one day and says - heys, here are some powers. select one you want. anyway, I dont think I have put it in the best way here, and this passage is open for more elegant writing and thinking. I just hope you got what I wanted to say.

I also wonder how some people attain so important places. See shahrukh khan for example. Isnt it possible for some one to just kidnap him(criminal mind???) and get his face and enjoy a life of a superstar?? And also, why dont people wonder that how could a single man be of this big stature. The answer is that people have seen him achieve his position. Again past comes into the picture. My 'History' defines me. You will judge me based on the work that I have done in the past. Sometimes I wonder why the past is so important?? I mean I can always start off afresh. And that is my strategy. I am going to make them believe that what if I have nothing worth mentioning on my resume, I have the potential of proving myself. But that is a difficult prospect. COmpanies are here to select only few people, and they know that they are a lot of guys with similar calibre, and they wont mind eliminating even more deserving ones as long as others are upto the standard set bu the firm. Yaa, tough times lie ahead. Why is past so important?? Yes this is a rhetorical question. From now on, I am going to work my past look good when I look back at it from distant future.


 So this is technically the first 'post' of mine on blogspot. The one above, does need some explanation. I wanted my first blog to be absolutely out of this world. So I started writing it, very enthusiastically in fact. I cracked some mind-boggling jokes, and I laughed a lot at them, and I was damn sure, that once a
person goes through this hystorical post, she (yupp! its intentional. i am chivalrous.) would be surprised that a blog this funny could even be written.

oKK! to the point. It got lost. Something happened and a window popped up stating that 'Opera had occurred. It needs to close down now. Any work will not be saved.'  I was perplexed. This couldnt possibly be happening. With a heavy heart I click onto the 'dont send' button and everything was lost. Well, why am I telling you all this. This post is increasingly becoming like the promos of those movies where the direstors, actors, and even junior artists claim it to be different.So you know that they have nothing else to talk about. I feel like closing down this post right now. But I have given up on so many things so many times, I think giving up comes naturally to me. ANd I dont want to be a guy who gives up on every god damn thing. Seriously, am i fool to think that people are still reading this crap?? Okk, people, i wont forceyou
to go through all these shit. just leave a comment that you have read all this, i mean you can lie right, because lying is an art.

okk! another step change! this formatting thing kills me. yeh bhagwaan! okk! I will share with you  all the jokes that i had formulated rather in the early stages of my life. in my first post that i had (atleast i claim i had) written i talked about the reason why i want to start blogging when i know that i absolutely have nothing worth sharing to this world. wen i say nothing i really mean it. and that is the plan. i want to test myself. i want to see if i could sell absolute crap to this world. corny, cheesy,annying things. okk! i am not going to charge you or anything, but i want people reading this blogto think that 'look this guy may be talking absolute crap, and my head has started to hurt, but he does make sense. and he is funny too. i wish i could be funny like him'. period.

another step change. okk, so this 'step change' thing. it actually comes from my background of mathematics (i know thats a big turn off, but believe me u havent met me yet. otherwise you would kill if somebody mentioned math before you. do i make sense at all?) i used it here to bring some order to this incoherent conversation that i believe i am having with my readers. seriously what else possibly can i talk about. if it makes you feel any happy, i live in this world too. wah, that was some real nice joke, wasnt it.

anyway, its 1:06 in noon and i had thought that i would eat my lunch after taking bath, and i dont see any possibility of that happening in near future. actually that is the fact of life when it comes to me. when i plan that i would finish up my slides beforehand fore my BTP presentation, that means that i am not going to even go near MS Power Point for this whole week.

what else, sem is over. and i again feel that i have done nothing in this sem too. consistency, is what keeps me happy. i so desperately want to finish this up with a joke, but i dont have any right now.

and about my url. i know that gives my blog an A ceificate but yaar you have got to admire that creativity behind it. life sucks was main idea behind the url. and my unstable mind forced me to change its meaning altogether. anyway. the sherminator thing, i believe that every one around has seen american pie two(or atleast one) and so i need not explain about it. i would most probably change the content for getting a U certificate, but right now i am enjoying this cool blog of mine. people just dont report my blog to moderators.

i am sorry for the crappy formatting. hell, i am not.

kyun?! (ki main jhoot nahin bolta!)

mera life se give up ho chuka hai.

=(( yepp, new smiley. ROLFC.

Zinda raha toh phir milenge.