Naye saal ka pahla jaam.. Aapke naam..

We need to be good at summarizing. 2010 was a good year.

Met some of the most interesting people. Wrote mind-numbing SAS programs. Cracked some of the super-awesome jokes of the year. And became aware of her. Which basically defines 2010 as the year of awareness.

And here is the last phrase for the year without any explanation - 'Do you feel entitled or do you feel grateful'?

I had this realization. That if I toned down my sense of humor a bit, I could be irresistible to gals.

I also had some more realizations. I am talking too much these days. Worse, I am text messaging much these days. I think its a consequence to my innate weakness of pleasing everyone.

And have I talked about my inability to sleep for months now. I think its the general view across my friends that the days are gone that you could sleep and start a day afresh. For me, its the hyperactivity of my mind I guess. Its like a TV that I can not switch off.

I am also trying to fight off my desire to be at the center of affairs. It makes me feel pathetic.

I now know for sure that my ignorance has been my strength all this while. There were times where I did things because I knew that not doing them were not an option. But now the awareness of alternatives have diluted that drive.

Living life in extreme is quite easy. Caring completely and not caring at all is easy. Its fine-tuning life that is difficult.

Random lines
1. No comments. Only compliments!
2. For laughing at my jokes.

Context?? naah. Unnecessary dilution of borrowed originality.

Anyway, I write after so many days. And I am playing safe. Not good.

Anyway, I did ask her. Originally the plan was to ask her as if it was the most natural thing for me to do. But I think I am born honest. I knew that it was weird and I said that it was weird. Crap! I can literally write what not to do when asking someone out.

Anyway, she is such a class act. Makes me feel like a kid.

But I am little less restless now. In fact, I am a lot better.

And for this two-three months, I have worked with these guys. Not kids. All grown-ups. And it was such fun. Seriously. They deserve a special mention. You know when people see you and they draw a smile..isn't it just so so great when you know that they are actually happy seeing you. I can not describe the feeling.

With the team that I have I should be a pretty happy man. And may be I am. But as Agent Smith says, 'Human beings define their reality through misery.'

And so what do I want to do in life? Such questions demand ambiguous answers. I think I just want to be a tough act to follow.