Abhinav Jain bhagwaan hai. the kind of comments he gets. bhagwaan. kaise kar lete ho aap yeh?? seriously yaar. kaise??? many things are indeed admirable about him. first one being ki logo ne uski alag alag tarike se lene ki kosis ki but he never banned anonymous comments. i wish i was in such positions where random people will post mean comments on my blog. and second thing that i believe he can see beyond most people. ab i amnot sure what i mean by that. i see at the kind of comments he gets, full of advice with all that motherly sisterly brotherly affection. aur i think that he doesnt need any advise. he knows what he has got to do. one such comment says ki he might be the next chetan bhagat. aur i say, 'yeh chetan bhagat kaun hai be?' seriously. that man is nothing if you compare him with apna abhi. i did not get to read his five point someone in first year because some other ass got it issued from our hostel library and i had felt like putting the library into fire. and i think about that time now and the belief that i have always been this stupid gets stronger.

anyway. he gets the comment because people care for him. nobody cares for me. maa. i am so jealous.

anyway, if you have just started visiting his blog and believe that he is very gud at blogging, go check his archives of times when he used to be at IIM C(okk i earlier thot it sud be IIM K). He was exceptional. He was mind boggling. The kind that i used to write when nobody was thr to appreciate them. seriously yaar. mere archives mein bhi kuch anmol ratan ke jaise post pade huye hain. i dont really expect you to go thru the trouble of going thru each of them (cos even that time i used to write shitty shit once in a while!) so i am thinking about just reposting them. what say you guys! i know you cant wait!

Chuckie returns to a table where Will, Morgan and Billy have made themselves comfortable. He [Chuckie] spots two ATTRACTIVE YOUNG HARVARD WOMEN sitting together at the end of the bar.

Chuckie struts his way toward the women and pulls up a chair.
He flashes a smile and tries to submerge his thick Boston accent.

CHUCKIE: Hey, how's it goin'?
LYDIA: Fine.
CHUCKIE: So, you ladies ah, go to school here?
CHUCKIE: Yeah, cause I think I had a class with you.

At this point, several interested parties materialize. Morgan Billy and Will try, as inconspicuously as possible, to situate themselves within listening distance. A rather large student in a HARVARD LACROSSE sweatshirt, CLARK (22) notices Chuckie.
He [Clark] walks over to Skylar and Lydia, nobly hovering over them as protector. This gets Will, Morgan, and Billy's attention.

SKYLAR:What class?
CHUCKIE: Ah, history I think.
CHUCKIE: Yah, it's not a bad school...

At this point, Clark can't resist and steps in.

CLARK: What class did you say that was?
CHUCKIE: History.
CLARK: How'd you like that course?
CHUCKIE: Good, it was all right.
CLARK: History? Just "history?" It must have been a survey course then.

Chuckie nods. Clark notices Chuckie's clothes. Will and Bill exchange a look and move subtly closer.

CLARK: Pretty broad. "History of the World?"
CHUCKIE: Hey, come on pal we're in classes all day. That's one thing about Harvard never seizes to amaze me, everybody's talkin' about school all the time.
CLARK: Hey, I'm the last guy to want to talk about school at the bar. But as long as you're here I want to "seize" the opportunity to ask you a question.
Billy shifts his beer into his left hand. Will and Morgan see this. Morgan rolls his eyes as if to say "not again..."

CLARK: Oh, I'm sure you covered it in your history class.
Clark looks to see if the girls are impressed. They are not.

When Clark looks back to Chuckie, Skylar turns to Lydia and rolls her [own] eyes. They laugh. Will sees this and smiles.

CHUCKIE: To tell you the truth, I wasn't there much. The class was rather elementary.
CLARK: Elementary? Oh, I don't doubt it was. I remember the class, it was just between recess and lunch.

Will and Billy come forward, stand behind Chuckie.

CHUCKIE: All right, are we gonna have a problem?
CLARK: There's no problem. I was just hoping you could give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the early colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War the economic modalities especially of the southern colonies could most aptly be characterized as agrarian precapitalist and...

Will, who at this point has migrated to Chuckie's side and is completely fed-up, includes himself in the conversation.

WILL: Of course that's your contention. You're a first year grad student. You just finished some Marxian historian, Pete Garrison prob'ly, and so naturally that's what you believe until next month when you get to James Lemon and get convinced that Virginia and Pennsylvania were strongly entrepreneurial and capitalist back in 1740. That'll last until sometime in your second year, then you'll be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood about the Pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.
CLARK(taken aback): Well, as a matter of fact, I won't, because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of..
WILL: "Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth..." You got that from "Work in Essex County," Page 421, right? Do you have any thoughts of your own on the subject or were you just gonna plagiarize the whole book for me?

Clark is stunned.

WILL: Look, don't try to pass yourself off as some kind of an intellect at the expense of my friend just to impress these girls.

Clark is lost now, searching for a graceful exit, any exit.

WILL: The sad thing is, in about 50 years you might start doin' some thinkin' on your own and by then you'll realize there are only two certainties in life.
CLARK: Yeah? What're those?
WILL: One, don't do that. Two -- you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on an education you coulda' picked up for a dollar fifty in late charges at the Public Library.

Will catches Skylar's eye.

CLARK: But I will have a degree, and you'll be serving my kids fries at a drive through on our way to a skiing trip.
WILL(smiles): Maybe. But at least I won't be a prick. And if you got a problem with that, I guess we can step outside and deal with it that way.

While Will is substantially smaller than Clark, he [Clark] not to take Will up on his [Will's] offer.

WILL: If you change your mind, I'll be over by the bar.

He turns and walks away. Chuckie follows, throwing Clark a look.

Morgan turns to a nearby girl.

MORGAN: My boy's wicked smart.


Will sits with Morgan at the bar watching with some amusement as Chuckie and Billy play bar basketball game where the players shoot miniature balls at a small basket. In the B.G. occasionally we hear Chuckie shouting "Larry!", when he scores.

Skylar emerges from the crowd and approaches Will.

SKYLAR: You suck.
WILL: What?
SKYLAR: I've been sitting over there for forty-five minutes waiting for you to come talk to me. But I'm just tired now and I have to go home and I wasn't going to keep sitting there waiting for you.
WILL: I'm Will.
SKYLAR: Skylar. And by the way. That guy over there is a real dick and I just wanted you to know he didn't come with us.
WILL: I kind of got that impression.
SKYLAR: Well, look, I have to go. Gotta' get up early and waste some more money on my overpriced education.
WILL: I didn't mean you. Listen, maybe...
SKYLAR: Here's my number.

Skylar produces a folded piece of paper and offers it to Will.

SKYLAR: Maybe we could go out for coffee sometime?
WILL: Great, or maybe we could go somewhere and just eat a bunch of caramels.
WILL: When you think about it, it's just as arbitrary as drinking coffee.
SKYLAR(laughs): Okay, sounds good.

She turns.

WILL: Five minutes.
WILL: I was trying to be smooth. (indicates clock) But at twelve-fifteen I was gonna come over there and talk to you.
SKYLAR: See, it's my life story. Five minutes and I would have got to hear your best pick-up line.
WILL: The caramel thing is my pick-up line.
SKYLAR: Glad I came over.

ok, in case you did not notice, last post was not completely complete and i had to abandon it just wen i was about to write its climax. earlier it sounded like a very sound idea- to divide the post in two part so as to keep my avid readers waiting and contemplating and hence giving the post its rightful platform- but now seeing the response, i am not very curious about completely completing the post. but i still will. i remember the kind of huge response that i had got for my original stories. india mein talent ki koi ijjat nahi hai. anyway, to start those kind of stories again is stil one of the possibilities and in fact, i am going to use that as a weapon the day i decide to shoo away all my readers (including the silent admirers that i believe must be in thousands in number) to regenerate myself or in more sophisticated terms, upgrade myself. 'myself' has never been my favorite term and i would scrap it off my dictionary anyday. talking of dictionary, i was indulged in my favourite activity-that of checking the orkut profiles of my friends and random people- wen i got bored and decided to write this crappy post; and i read the quote "Dictionary is the only place where death comes before life, success before work, but the best part is friends come before relatives." Well it would have been a lot better if it was truncated right after 'work' but still it was new to me and so i liked it.

whatelse? okk, i sud finish my previous post. so i was talking about my studdness. so in my urge to prove my studness, i will tell the girl that what i think about her and the way she thinks in whole truth. And it will irritate her and my chance to get the girl will decrease exponentially. now lets take B. He thinks that he is studd too. And in predicting the girl he thinks that he is as good as i think i am. but here is where the similarities end. the next plan of action is of utmost important. and he might be as good at heart as i think i am, he will play his part to ensure his victory. okk. everything i wrote above was not really required and the one sentence which wud have done the trick was 'He will try to manipulate the girl and make sure that the girl is crazy about him in exactly 10 days.'

And the original plan was to write some more crap and convince myself as well as you to believe that i am the real studd. the crap would be something like if the girl was easily manipulated then she was not the one worth investing so much efforts in. but then it doesnt sound right coming from a guy who takes pride in narrating his acts of stupidity.

here is a pic to end this disappointing post.

while the credit for this 'fulaa hua chapati' sud go to the hands holding the 'chimta', i take pride in the fact ki yeh roti maine bela hai.

So we went to AjantHa hotel this afternoon to have our lunch. And going to AjantHa or Adigas to have ones lunch is never a very exciting proposition anyday. But it was a very fortunate day indeed. On our way to the hotel we saw a VERY hot aunty in green sari. She was the difining example of the word ‘Extreme Maal’ coined by me. Now calling aunty to such a hot woman would be insulting to many but using ‘aunty’ here is my way of showing her that I mean no disrespect. Crap. I think aunty word itself is very hott.


SO I have been shifted to a new place. And let us just say that my desk is no longer an ideal place to access blogger. Sad. I know. But you know what the sadder part of the whole story is?? Pretending that you are actually working while you type a post on outlook.


Whats next? Believe me there is nothing as interesting as watching a query run for 1 hour. I am sure by the time I am done writing this post, it will still be running. So I had a profound thought the other day. It was about studness. I had almost deciphered the differentiating factor between studs and non-studs. And as Pondy (the much talked about pondy was here with me on this weekend) told me how desperate I am to be always talking about girls, I would illustrate my theory by giving an example where the criterion of evaluating studness is getting a girl. So lets assume I am a stud. Ok. Rephrased. I think I am a stud. I believe that gals are intelligent (1). And the way to impress a girl is being utterly honest and telling right at her face that what you think she is thinking (2). As I said I am stud, and hence I have logic behind each of my assumptions. Historical data about the girl I want to impress will tell me that she is intelligent. If the case is other wise, I wont even dream of impressing that girl as only an intelligent girl can value me for the studdness that I have, and not for my impressive personality, my six figure salary, my extremely refined sense of humor, my exquisite table manners, my heroic endeavors where I saved her from a group of goons and my biceps, triceps, quadraceps, hexaceps. | thak gaya yaar|


SO now that I have justified my assumptions as much as the assumptions taken into Generaal theory of relativity, I will go forward to explaining the most probable outcome of this stand. First she will be impressed. For sure. But soon she will be annoyed.


Okk I gotta go.  

8th Feb: Propose Day

9th Feb: Chocolate Day

10th Fed: Teddy Day

11th Fed: Promise Day

12th Feb: Hug Day

!3th Feb: Kiss Day

14th Feb: Valentine’s Day

Enjoy Valentine's Week.

This was an sms that I got from one of my friends. No point for guessing that he was a ‘boy’friend. They talk about equality for women. When are they going to message such messages to their dear friends like me?

Anyway. Back to the point. I thot it very creative of my friend to have come up with such an exhaustive list. I wud have had hug day a day later than the kiss day though. Anyway, back to the point. And the point is, that one of my friends from my huge list of ‘boy’friends also knew about the valentine week and on Kiss Day he smsed ‘Today is the kiss day. Am I going to get one from you?’ to one of his friend from his very short list of ‘girl’friends. And while he knew that no response will ever come he waited. He waited. Because he knew smsing was just a part of setting up the mood and he didn’t want the decent girl - that he believed her to be – to be answering to such idiotic smses. So he called her. And he heard the laugh that had made her heart stop beating for almost always. Anyway, he was about to explain her that it was no joke – the content of the sms that is – but he ran out of balance and I am still wondering what the result of his efforts has been.

Well the story doesn’t end here. It doesn’t even start here. It starts from a list. A list of girls that have ever had the misfortune of knowing him. And it was a sorted list. With the girl, having highest probability of accepting his proposal (I know it sounds too professional!) - which by the way was little less than 1 in a million or billion – at the very top of the list. Now this friend is very dear to me. And so I have taken the liberty of making fun of him. So as any sound forecasting model would have predicted his proposals were not met with responses that he expected. But he hasn’t given up. And while we talked last night on phone on this great human endeavor he even tried to convince me of using this great idea of proposing each and every girl that I have known in this or previous 10 births. The idea was that if girl acknowledges your eternal love for her in this and 10 previous birth of yours, you have succeeded otherwise just say that you just pulled a prank. Well, I said I will use this great idea on April 1st.

For the time being I think I should just scrap some random girl on Orkut that I am a very desperate guy who has never had any valentine for last 22 years and if they want to do a good deed on February the 14th they could just scrap 'I love you' in my scrapbook.

Great! Happy Valentine’s Day!

Chalte Chalte..

Chalte Chalte..

Yunhi koi mil gaya tha

Yunhi koi mil gaya tha

Sare raah chalet chalte

Sare raah chalet chalte

Wahi tham ke rah gayee hai

Wahi tham ke rah gayee hai

Meri raat dhalte dhalte..

Meri raat dhalte dhalte..

Joh kahi gayee naa mujhse

Joh kahi gayee naa mujhse

Woh zamaanaa kah raha hai

Woh zamaanaa kah raha hai

Ke fasaana..

Ke fasaanaa ban gayee hai..

Ke fasaanaa ban gayee hai..

Meri baat talte talte

Meri baat talte talte

Yunhi koi mil gaya tha

Yunhi koi mil gaya tha

Sare raah chalet chalte

Sare raah chalet chalte

Sabe intezaar aakhir

Kabhi hogi mukhtsar bhi

Yeh chirag..

Yeh chirag bujh rahe hain

Yeh chirag bujh rahe hain

Merw saath jalte jalte.

Yeh chirag bujh rahe hain

Yeh chirag bujh rahe hain

Yeh chirag bujh rahe hain

Yeh chirag bujh rahe hain

Yeh chirag bujh rahe hain

Yeh chirag bujh rahe hain..

Yeh chirag bujh rahe hain

Mere saath jalte jalte..

Yunhi koi mil gaya tha

I am quite good at drawing. The one above depicts the sophistication and simplicity in my drawing. anyway, to expect from you to understand what i have drawn on the sheet of paper is to expect from you the knowledge of 'unknowledgeable'- it is definitely a word as i checked in google just now. and i want to stress upon the fact that i typed the spelling of it(i wud have typed the word again, but i dont want to take chance. i did it alright the first time, i am not sure i wud be able to repeat myself.)absolutely correctly in first shot. - and that i wont expect from you. so i will tell you what i drawn up there. relax. dont try to guess. you cant.

so i have just submitted my appraisal form. it was kind of boring. no. it was definitely boring. i dont want to evaluate myself. i know i am the best. okk. that i am not quite sure about. but even if 'i dont think i am the best', i have got the right to put up a case against my unwillingness to go thru the appraisal process. i do my work. and that sud be it.

its been years since i have written anything remotely funny. okk. in next ten lines, i will write something so funny that you will realise that nothing more funny cud and wud be ever written in history of human race. And by funny, i dont mean things like 'i broke up with a girl becus she cud not keep up with me in bed' or 'I woke up today to find that i have been sleeping the whole night' or 'this is the greatest blog ever.' okk, i have already wasted 1 line. sorry its already 2. 4. shit! okk. lets get this done with. here it comes. SHIT. HAPPENS.

okk. in my endeavour to write the funniest thing of this era i think i have rewritten the most profound thot of this universe. now that i have written it, its face value will get over evaluated by billion million dollors.

okk, the thing that u see drawn in the pic at top is a 'baigan' that we cooked today.

So I watched Taare Zameen Par last evening. And it was good. I had heard so much about it that I was afraid that it might not bear the bojh of high expectations and I might be disappointed. The way it had turned out for Rang De Basanti. I mean I did like the movie. But I did not find it as great as some of you might want me to believe. And while I was desperately waiting for a movie that would make me cry like babies, it did make me weep a bit. And I am not sure if it was weeping that I did but I was almost at saturation point and one more ‘Tadaaaaak’ to Ishan Avasthi or one more scene of absolute happiness would have done the task.


Well. Second half of the movie was outstanding. Amir Khan rules. Hats off to the man.  


And You wont believe it but I had written the earlier part of this post in morning and its almost 8:30 in night now. And I would have to go. Aah but I gotta write about some more things about movies and a Japanese animation series ‘TOUCH.’ So this Saturday we (actually my friends) were watching Motorcycle Diaries on TV. And while I was busy watching ‘Touch’ I would have a look at the movie once in a while. So there is almost this last part of the movie where the heroes of this film are partying with nuns and priests in someplace in Peru. They had visited Peru to help them tackle leprosy and they did it with all their heart and were deservedly liked by the people their. So in the last part one of the heroes ask this nun to dance with him and as he is not quite gud at it he starts one of his own dances. And people suddenly stop and watch him dance and laugh resulting in an embarrassed look on his face. They stop dancing.  And he smiles. The nun smile. And all the people arounf them smile. And their eyes smile. It was such a beautiful scene. You know that people are happy. And they have nothing in their minds. They are not even bothered that this moment will not last forever. This I believe was a state of absolute happiness.


TOUCH. As the name suggests will touch you. Okk I will give a brief synopsis. But it cant be brief I guess. So I will write about it another post I guess.




I am sad today. For no particular reason. Must be the weather. Lousy weather. And I don’t even want to write a post. But I still am.

I will go watch Taare Zameein Par in INOX.

Whats next??

I will compile a list of hot heroines.

5) Manisha Koirala

4) Ayesha Takiya

3) Amisha Patel

2) Riya sen

1) Amrita Arora

Well. Manisha Koirala and Amisha Patel are indeed beautiful. But I couldn’t have recognized it but for one divine day when I watched them run. I will make one movie with all these heroines where they will do nothing but run.

So here goes my Hollywood list.

5) Scarlet Johanson

4) Paris Hilton

3) Monica Bellucci

2) Eva Green

1) Drew Barrymore

And here is a tribute to my dear donst Tyagi who showed the courage of commenting thrice in this crap post. And this list was actually quite inspired by him as I have seen him industrially list his favourite movies in an excel sheet or MS Word and what not. Gud work, Tyagi. If you just gave me that list I wud let the readers also know the class of your taste.

So here is his list of haaaaaat heroines (and I believe it sud be more reliable as the pervertness in his mind, I believe is less than mine.)

1) Jessica alba

2) Eva Green

3) Monica Bellucci

4) Carmen Electra

5) Michelle Hunzinker/Tyra Banks

Thanks! :D

I am quite not sure about the looks of Michelle Hunzinker and Tyra Banks. So have kept them at last. I can google their images but i dont want to set standards in abusing internet in an office. And i have tried looking into the hautness of these actressess thru your eyes. and jessica alba somehow is too haught wen i do that. (hehe. =)) Crap! what a line!)