Chuckie returns to a table where Will, Morgan and Billy have made themselves comfortable. He [Chuckie] spots two ATTRACTIVE YOUNG HARVARD WOMEN sitting together at the end of the bar.
Chuckie struts his way toward the women and pulls up a chair.
He flashes a smile and tries to submerge his thick Boston accent.
CHUCKIE: Hey, how's it goin'?
CHUCKIE: So, you ladies ah, go to school here?
CHUCKIE: Yeah, cause I think I had a class with you.
At this point, several interested parties materialize. Morgan Billy and Will try, as inconspicuously as possible, to situate themselves within listening distance. A rather large student in a HARVARD LACROSSE sweatshirt, CLARK (22) notices Chuckie.
He [Clark] walks over to Skylar and Lydia, nobly hovering over them as protector. This gets Will, Morgan, and Billy's attention.
CHUCKIE: Ah, history I think.
CHUCKIE: Yah, it's not a bad school...
At this point, Clark can't resist and steps in.
CLARK: What class did you say that was?
CLARK: How'd you like that course?
CHUCKIE: Good, it was all right.
CLARK: History? Just "history?" It must have been a survey course then.
Chuckie nods. Clark notices Chuckie's clothes. Will and Bill exchange a look and move subtly closer.
CLARK: Pretty broad. "History of the World?"
CHUCKIE: Hey, come on pal we're in classes all day. That's one thing about Harvard never seizes to amaze me, everybody's talkin' about school all the time.
CLARK: Hey, I'm the last guy to want to talk about school at the bar. But as long as you're here I want to "seize" the opportunity to ask you a question.
Billy shifts his beer into his left hand. Will and Morgan see this. Morgan rolls his eyes as if to say "not again..."
CLARK: Oh, I'm sure you covered it in your history class.
Clark looks to see if the girls are impressed. They are not.
When Clark looks back to Chuckie, Skylar turns to Lydia and rolls her [own] eyes. They laugh. Will sees this and smiles.
CHUCKIE: To tell you the truth, I wasn't there much. The class was rather elementary.
CLARK: Elementary? Oh, I don't doubt it was. I remember the class, it was just between recess and lunch.
Will and Billy come forward, stand behind Chuckie.
CHUCKIE: All right, are we gonna have a problem?
CLARK: There's no problem. I was just hoping you could give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the early colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War the economic modalities especially of the southern colonies could most aptly be characterized as agrarian precapitalist and...
Will, who at this point has migrated to Chuckie's side and is completely fed-up, includes himself in the conversation.
WILL: Of course that's your contention. You're a first year grad student. You just finished some Marxian historian, Pete Garrison prob'ly, and so naturally that's what you believe until next month when you get to James Lemon and get convinced that Virginia and Pennsylvania were strongly entrepreneurial and capitalist back in 1740. That'll last until sometime in your second year, then you'll be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood about the Pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.
CLARK(taken aback): Well, as a matter of fact, I won't, because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of..
WILL: "Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth..." You got that from "Work in Essex County," Page 421, right? Do you have any thoughts of your own on the subject or were you just gonna plagiarize the whole book for me?
Clark is stunned.
WILL: Look, don't try to pass yourself off as some kind of an intellect at the expense of my friend just to impress these girls.
Clark is lost now, searching for a graceful exit, any exit.
WILL: The sad thing is, in about 50 years you might start doin' some thinkin' on your own and by then you'll realize there are only two certainties in life.
CLARK: Yeah? What're those?
WILL: One, don't do that. Two -- you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on an education you coulda' picked up for a dollar fifty in late charges at the Public Library.
Will catches Skylar's eye.
CLARK: But I will have a degree, and you'll be serving my kids fries at a drive through on our way to a skiing trip.
WILL(smiles): Maybe. But at least I won't be a prick. And if you got a problem with that, I guess we can step outside and deal with it that way.
While Will is substantially smaller than Clark, he [Clark] not to take Will up on his [Will's] offer.
WILL: If you change your mind, I'll be over by the bar.
He turns and walks away. Chuckie follows, throwing Clark a look.
Morgan turns to a nearby girl.
MORGAN: My boy's wicked smart.
AT THE BAR -- LATER
Will sits with Morgan at the bar watching with some amusement as Chuckie and Billy play bar basketball game where the players shoot miniature balls at a small basket. In the B.G. occasionally we hear Chuckie shouting "Larry!", when he scores.
Skylar emerges from the crowd and approaches Will.
SKYLAR: You suck.
SKYLAR: I've been sitting over there for forty-five minutes waiting for you to come talk to me. But I'm just tired now and I have to go home and I wasn't going to keep sitting there waiting for you.
WILL: I'm Will.
SKYLAR: Skylar. And by the way. That guy over there is a real dick and I just wanted you to know he didn't come with us.
WILL: I kind of got that impression.
SKYLAR: Well, look, I have to go. Gotta' get up early and waste some more money on my overpriced education.
WILL: I didn't mean you. Listen, maybe...
SKYLAR: Here's my number.
Skylar produces a folded piece of paper and offers it to Will.
SKYLAR: Maybe we could go out for coffee sometime?
WILL: Great, or maybe we could go somewhere and just eat a bunch of caramels.
WILL: When you think about it, it's just as arbitrary as drinking coffee.
SKYLAR(laughs): Okay, sounds good.
WILL: Five minutes.
WILL: I was trying to be smooth. (indicates clock) But at twelve-fifteen I was gonna come over there and talk to you.
SKYLAR: See, it's my life story. Five minutes and I would have got to hear your best pick-up line.
WILL: The caramel thing is my pick-up line.
SKYLAR: Glad I came over.
Posted in: on Sunday, February 24, 2008 at at 5:15 PM