i know. i was away and you missed me.

you might get the impression that i am talking to this damn (how insensitive!) blog but no, i am talking to you.

so what's up with me? as i said i am on the path of re discovering myself. literally.

i have grown. i wish i had grown in height though. or around my biceps. i am not funny at all.

now i know that i am not trying for CAT for at least two years. and i know that i have to work in the field that i am working in. i will occasionally miss chemical (which kind of sound like alchemy..oh and i have watched The Alchemist btw..) engineering but i don't think i will blame myself for not doing anything. its mostly because i started playing spider solitaire. and it hit me. you really dont have to come with the best options. all you need to have is a OK option taken well within time. it is good enough plan to live the life. i am sure there will be a time when i would know for sure my best option and tht would be that. i did not sound intelligent at all. but thats ok. i will have my time.

so i basically want to right things that i think are original. among a lot of BS ofcourse. so that its originality is well appreciated. so i was laying down in my attempt to get some sleep, and i heard 'dil cheez hai kya.. aap meri jaan lijiye' and it hit me again. it was so damn perfect. like tea at the right temperature. so i am making a list of 'perfect' encounters i have had so far. TEA and SONG. thts two in the list.

and i have tried taking initiatives. hehe. corny!!

yeah, so i have made it a point now that i do things that i have always wanted to. you can send emails (from outlook) using excel. did you know that? even when you do know how it can be done, do you know how to override the security warning. i really dont give much damn, if you understand me?? do i?

i will be good.

i feel i have matured. just now i took an IQ test to prove once and all that i was a genius. it turned out that i was only above average. but i can always question the validity of the test conducted. but it was a good test. it was a test that i am sure you are aware of. they will show eight pictures with place of ninth picture blank. you will be given some 6 options and you will have to pick the one that fits in overall schema.

yes. it was a good test. it got me thinking. intelligence is basically about identifying patterns. learning, is the other name for it, is it??!

yes. so i think one sure sign of getting matured is to be able to pick right options in your life. being able to identify the patterns.

and getting matured is more about taking your job seriously. taking your own decisions. and getting the priorities right basically.

and being able to understand the meaning of phrases or incidences that you never gave second thoughts to. i have always found 'lost in translation' a fascinating phrase. you speak something and then if it is said again, we have lost something in between. but what exactly is 'translation'?? you feel something, then you express it. isnt that a translation of some sort. so if we assume that there is always something lost while we translate, we have never expressed ourselves completely, have we? so what can we do? either, we can give up respecting the futility of each attempt - in order to keep the 'feeling' safe, unadulterated; or we keep trying unless we come very close to expressing what we knew we felt.