This is 200th. I wanted to write that I want to make it special but I really dont. I will write few things here and there. In my earlier analysis, I had established how the number of posts is inversely proportional to quality of posts for a given duration. i think that is true. but mostly i guess it has to do with freshness of the posts. i think i will pull one this off quite decently.

and its 10 already? i completed one month in this part of the world. good good. and i want to finally settle in raipur. yess. i will own a home in bangalore as well. but that is different.

and how completely real things look. so completely within reach. its unbelievable at times. but then you become aware.

aah. i just remembered what i actually wanted to write about. when was the last time you heard your heart beat so loud you got scared that it would burst open. arent those the moments that you are so so aware that you are alive? extreme emotions. fear is one of them. and may be love is the extreme. okk.. now you think i wrote all this to talk about love. i wrote this last line in fond memory of more energetic ignorant happy and young me - i could have written rest of this post just in this point - i was talented back then. haha. i feel fresh.

coming back to the point - it was that night when i wanted to sleep to be able to wake up early next morning - i got so scared i woke up. and i thanked god as never before to have friends come over to my place for visiting me. i had two pegs, we listened to old hindi songs, mostly from pyasa and talked about how handsome dharmendra was and how talented sanjeev kumar was. good times - completely justifies consumption of alcohol.

another night was when i prepared some material for sas training. shit, it sounded so stupid. it still does. it was four in the morning and few hours before we get into session. i was so bloodly proud and happy, i could not sleep thinking i wish i had the class right now so i could teach them.

and to end the post - how much do you know yourself if you have never been in a fight? that is from fight club.

path to self discovery, is it?