huh?

I have had loads of misconceptions in my whole life. Like I used to think that blogging or writing in general will come naturally to me. But as I sit down now, trying hard to write something that remotely makes sense to anyone in this planet, I realise that I am getting worse at what I thought I could excel at. That's where I think my problems have been. I really never tried to excel at my strengths. I could have been a DR (ie Department Rank) because I know I was great at studies. But I didnt study hard. But somewhere along the way, I think I got confused. Things stopped to make sense. As I look back, I sometimes feel that I wasted my cllege life, doing things that I shouldnt have done, or rather not doing things that I should have done otherwise. The famous speech given by [link=http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html]Steve Jobs[/link] at Standford comes to mind. He talked about joining the dots. I am not a great thinker but I guess I understood (or rather felt) what he wanted to tell us. Things might not make sense at first, but we have got to believe that they will, when we look back from a point at far future. The speech can be downloaded in mp3 format too, just search for 'steve jobs commencement speech'. I think that many of you might have heard it before, those who havent must hear it right now.

ANyway, I have no idea what I am going to write now. You might say that I lack clarity in thoughts. Contrary to that I think that I am in love with 'randomness'. I dont know how to put it in words but I think that absolute magic can be created once you manage to make sense out of absolute crap. Do I make sense?? I think I do. I am going to work as a business analyst now, in a company which is just two and a half years old. The founder was here himself for the selection process. And I must say I am truly impressed with things that he said. Few quotations that I am sure that you all might have heard before, like 'The courage to stand up and be heard' and 'In ambiguity, there lies an oppurtunity' were delivered with a lot of conviction. It was like, this is a man who believes in what he is saying. And you dont ask for proof, because you see right in his eyes, and you want to believe in everything he says. I am really looking forward to the joining. I just hope that I find the passion that I am looking for. I really dont understand the concept though. All these years I thought that my life will take a U-turn someday, and everything will be changed. Now that I look back, I wonder whether me getting into IIT was that U-turn, that I was never able to comprehend. And should I regret that I blew it up?

Now what else should I write about?? I feel a lot of things. SOme of which I would never like to acknowledge. But one thing that I have realised is that we must learn to face our fears. Anyway, confession mode is dangerous and we must avoid it at any cost. That is what I would tell to anyone going to interviews. You are not there to make friends. You are constantly being evaluated and you want the job at the end of the day. My interview was different though. Pressure Interview, as I would like to remember it. That scene from Casino Royale comes to mind where our dear Mr Bond is being hit at his crotches and the banker says 'The only question remains. Will you yield... in time?'. Anyway, I loved the movie, and you must watch it if you havent. So.. OK so I feel absolutely stupid sometimes. I try to console myself by thinking that I neednt worry as there are people in this world, more stupid than I am. But then there are these times when I feel that I am the stupidest person on this planet. As I fondly say that I like to see this realization as a sign of growing mature. I wonder whether other people feel same about them too. DO you feel idiotic sometimes? If yes, then dont feel bad. Just think of me.

As I see the increasing number of lines in this post I cant help but feel smug. Because I feel that I am the funniest person in this world right now.

I gotta go for the dinner.

3 comments:

  1. Hahhahha! You write really well! Though in last paragraph, you started off with telling about your interview, but never completed! :P Please tell us about your interview! :D

     
  2. nirwa

    hee hee! yaa, i am blushing! :")

    about the interview, aah, they really pushed me hard. i came out of the room depressed, thinking that they wud never hire me.

    one of the questions that they asked was: 'so there are two guys. one knows all the answers and the other knows all the questions. whom wud u pick to work with if you had to make a choice?'. WTF!

    again, it feels gud to know that u managed to not only understand but also like the post. ( i answered your comment on the above post first.)

     
  3. mishti

    kya bataun yaar apne desh mein talents ki ijjat hee nahin hai.

    and best of luck for your great endeavour. i hope u survive this much of crap.