Yeh hai estyle…

Yeh hai Ssstyle..

Long time no see. And here I was expecting to see some fan mails pleading for mercy and insisting that I write. In this hope I didn’t even tell anyone that I was home (such a lovely phrase!) this holi. Yeah, I went home. And on my way back here, I even dropped into (hehe, my angrezi is a funny language!) Mumbai. Met some friends. And drank vodka with lemonade. So it was gud. Except the fact that life sux. By definition.

So whats the news?? Mere haath hare aur laal ho chuke hain.

So what was it that I wanted to write? I was thinking about writing about myself. And it was after I realize that I sudnt be worried about letting people see the REAl me as everytime I come up with the description of ‘REAL’ me, I find that that’s totally not me to my utter surprise. So one of the many things we can do here is type what we thinks about wishself. (hehe! Too funny!)

Its damn boring. The only thing that worries me nowadays is that I am too introspective and one day I will die. Confused. And as there must be some contradiction, I also think that even if I did figure out everything about life, happiness and universe, I wud be too old(may be on deathbed) to look life from that perspective and live it. So there I go. Or it may be that perspectives will change. Whatever. People tell things not knowing that they are confused and what they do is nothing but plagiarism but they are still confident. And in that sense ignorance is bliss. You go to buy mobile phones without information and then weep for the rest of your life. in that case ignorance is not that blissful.

Anyway. Where was I? Haan. You have seen V for Vendetta and you talk about personal freedom. Okk..forget it.

And, I remember that we often say ‘system hee bekaar hai’. And one particular day I suddenly realized that this is so true. It’s the system that has helped western countries develop. It’s the system that has kept us from moving forward. Seriously. System suxx. System is everything. An efficient system will lead to more amount of work for a given amount of energy. Hehe. Yeah. Kam akal engineer.

What else??

Today is a particularly sad day. For ridiculous reasons. Its one of those days when you realize how pathetic you are. For me, its one of those days when I realize that I have been pathetic all these days. In all probability I am not going to discuss those ridiculous reasons. Lets see if I stick to this.


And the things that I am doing to escape the reality of this cruel world (sounds funny coming from me, :D, in fact =)), I absolutely rock! Ok back to sadness). Hehhe. Seriously. I am literally laughing (yaa, the way people laugh in jane austen’s novels!). Its funny how things look really funny once you start writing them down.


Anyway, its been really long since I have written anything personal I guess. And no, I am not going to write any here. In the obvious attempt to prove my studdness, I have told my friends, including my roommates about this blog. And they don’t read it quite often. As should be expected from any sane person. But then there should be those moments, I guess in their lives, when they think that things can not get any worse, and so they come visit my blog. And I deliver.


Seriously yaar. Why don’t I just go ahead and write things? They will appreciate my courage. Right? Aah. Yaa!! *Rolling Eyes*


So whats next?? I will write some quotes.

  1. All good men are taken, gay, dead or intelligent. (Believe me it sound VERy funny in my head.)
  2. I am really funny. (what!! I have made bullet points. I got to write some more for the sake of it, right?? So that you appreciate the funniness of the above statement.)
  3. okk. that’s it.
  4. I cant find anything interesting to write now.
  5. okk. but I will continue to write in bullets.
  6. What is love? is a question that has kept many females awake late in night, early in morning and at noon. I will tell you whats love. Its one soul’s recognition of its counterpart in this universe. Sounds perfect right? I got it from ‘the wedding crashers’. Pity you will now find it fake. Plus my earlier plan was to reiterate it whenever any girl asks me to define love for her. Gotta make some more searches in google now I guess.
  7. aur apni studdness ke barare mein kya bataaun main. For last three or four days my status on gtalk was ‘I am a rockstar.’ And just now I changed it to ‘I am not a rockstar and I don’t give autographs.’ Seriously yaar. Itna funny kaun ho sakta hai.???!





Today's fortune: A thrilling time is in your immediate future

yupp. thats what it is now, i guess. today is a sunday. and i am in my office. these two sentences can be used to derive a conclusion (that i am in office on a sunday!) and ask - what the duck am i doing in my office on a sunday?

and the horrible memories of the first week of our moving into our 18k apartment comes back to me. they had said - 'store water'. and we had thought they were just kidding. but even then we asked for clarifications - 'kyun sir?? paani ki problem hai kya?'. and they said it was nothing serious. and so we moved in. and water flowing through taps was not a surprise. and then we slept. and then we woke. to a new morning - 'its a new day, its a new start (Aage ka pata nahi)' playing on the backdrop. and then we found out. No water.

abe yaar. seriously. whats wrong with me. i dont feel like completing the tale now. so the crux of the matter is that we survived a whole one week without water. can you believe that?? we will see some aunty's house's fountain spilling truck load of water, hear some aunty's cooker's city(the thing that goes up to relieve pressure with the sound zhhhhhhhoooom. earlier i thot that i didnt know its angrezi name to begin with. but now i remember that i had drawn it on one of my engineering drawing class (jissmein maine fight maarke panji yaa chhakki yaa satti lagaa li thi) so i must have known its name at that point in time.) and think ki - 'vidhata yeh anyaay kyun?? abhi toh hamaari umra bhi itni nahee huyee ki hum apne paapon ka ghadaa bhar paate. log yahan favvare lagaa rahe hain. apne cars wash kar rahe hain. aur hamaare ghar mein hugaa maarne ke liye paani nahi. kyun??'

and we will reach our office at 8 sharp ( on sundays, we could afford to be late) aur sab ke sab baathroom mein. log soch rahe hain. ki kya ho raha hai?? and the feeling that you get when you do something that you usually dont do; the feeling that everyone has stopped working and looking at what you are doing, made it sure that i dont enjoy the half an hour (i know that sounds a lot of time!) inside toilet that is so truly the best half an hour of anyone's day. and dont get your mond overworked. i am only talking about the act of defecating. who else here except me also thinks that grossness is very funny?????? :|

anyway i copy pasted today fortune because testing times have returned. god help us!

Added later: My blog sucks. now, infact, it stinks.

Ab main kya bataun ki kitna khush hun main. I have been finally tagged after a long time. i had initially, at very early stage of my blogging life, resolved that i wont take up any tags. and it was kool. And then i waited for someone to tag me. as i said, i had resolved, and i was ready to play the tough cruel guy in ensuring that i wont complete the task even if people cried, immolated or died. (somebody please stop these voices up in my head. they say that now i am trying to hard to sound funny. you have got a tag to do, be humble and thankful, and just do it. SHHHHHHHHHut up!)

ok. so gazal mam has tagged me to 'write down 10 things that i hate about the opposite sex.' well, i dont really think that i hate someone or somebody, (which kind of shows my ignorance i believe, as not hating anybody at all , and mostly being indifferent, shows the lack of being opinionated) being diplomatic, i wud say that here are 10 things that i particularly dont like about gals:

1) Ajanabi gals giggling in front of ajanabi shy guys. Mat hanso yaar. Some colleagues are laughing over coffee, the dabee huyee hansi, where they want to make sure that i dont get the slightest idea that they are laughing (how kind!) and i am thinking ki kahin meri zip toh nahi khuli rah gayee. Only if we cud disappear in thin air, things cud be handled in far more effective ways.

2) Dont smile. Seriously, or at least be discreet. I was reading this novel by Wodehouse, where he describes the moment when apna hero falls in love with apni heroine. they both are traveling together in a train. and then they reach to their destination the next day, very early in the morning. the hero has had a really bad time, because the girl has been rude to him all this while. and then the hero goes to see around if anybody has come to pick them up. and in the mean time the girl thinks. she is not feeling well because she has been rude to him. and she decides to make some allowance and SMILES as she sees him coming back. and that was the moment when our confused hero realises that he has fallen in love.seriously yaar,(now its me directly talking to young, haaatt, careless gals), you guys have no idea what a smile can do to young, single, desperate guys. its a deadly weapon. and as they say, with power comes the responsibility. Anyway, the novel is 'Something Fresh' and you have got to read it. Best novel ever written.

3) Umm. Well women do seem complicated. Most of the time, while we try to impress them, obviously by speaking what they want to hear from us, we find that they find us fake. And its not only that. They will push us until we accept that we were indeed faking. Uhh. well, trying hard is not required. but let us just respect those who indeed try hard.

4) Okk. i have run out of points now. speaking of which i should just remind you all that i sud be the last person to be talking about females. i can count the total number of female contacts i have had till now on my finger tips. Seriously, I cant even get another point now. Okk heres one. Gals itni muggai mat karo yaar. Speaking of which I sud mention the DR ONE (bole toh department rank one)of our batch. She was originally from Metallurgical engineering and got a ‘branch change’ in second year and so she got into chemical engineering. The day this was announced one of my hostelites, who was also my dost ( as I called everyone else dost, and everyone else called me dost!) and was in meta and was also a big muggu told me with a pleasant smile(cos she was leaving his department) ki ‘beta, is duniya mein chahe koi kitna bhi mug le, usse jyada nahi mug sakta. Haha’ and I replied, ‘ ki hum kya farak padega, apan toh chhakki wale hain, aur chhakki wale rahenge. DRs ko honi chahiye fight life mein. Haha!’ toh ladkiyon.. ladko ko ek chance do. Itna mat muggo yaar. Please. Main aapke haath kaan paav jodta hun. Mat muggo itna.

5) ab yeh last point hone wala hai. Isse jyada toh nahi ho paayega. Bachchon aur unke uncles ko aaram se ‘ogling’ karne doh yaar. Wapas mud ke mat dekho. I remember one time, during one of the ppts (pre placement talk that is) one of my friends was staring at one of the girls (uske chehre pe woh tezzz tha.. you know. Dekhne se hee pata chal raha tha ki banda aaj finally khus hai.) par nahin. Ladki peeche mud ke dekhi. Aur apne dost ki literally fatt gayi. Mat karo yaar aisha. We all are a sad bunch of guys. Dekhne doh hamein. Please.

Okk. now I have got a millions options and selecting just five is difficult. I love difficulties. I will select just two. Mishti. And Crimemaster. Do it whenever you guys feel like doing it.

Chalo main ghar chala ab. Roadies miss ho gayaa yaar.