the greatest blog ever

‘Okk!’ I asked Pondy, ‘Padaa?’ (Did u read it?)

‘Nahin! Yaar.’

‘Nahin?!’

‘Abe bahut ganda tha yaar. Beech mein hee give-up ho gaya!’

 

And I laughed as never before. He sure is funny. And that was how our engagement was called off.

 

‘The original idea was to just have ‘her’ and ‘him’ in the story. Yaa, story! I know you are already thinking about running as never before unless you reach somewhere where you don’t even stand a chance of coming back to this place.’

 ‘So now you would pretend that you even know your readers?’ You are smart. I wouldn’t even dare to write you as anything but smart.

‘But I deserve a chance!’ I want to look pathetic. I want to invoke sympathy.

‘You deserve a bullet in you shitty head. Damn you *beep*! We already have so many story tellers!’ You haven’t read any of them in past. And you don’t want to read any of them in future.  ‘And did u just BEEP me??’

‘Sorry for that. Rule number 555. You can’t use any names in my story?’

‘Pondy?? Wasn’t that supposed to be a name?’

‘Well. Pondy and you are almost blood-related. Well if you are not ‘He’ or ‘she’ and I want to talk about you while I am talking to someone else (who is ‘You’ at that point in time, by the way) about you, I would be using the word ‘Pondy’. In that sense Pondy is almost a pronoun now.’

 ‘You are abusing freedom of expression. You are a goddam loser. Why are you trying this hard to prove that you are right and all others are wrong?? Why have you made this an ego issue? Why don’t you just live people alone and suffer in normal way?? Must you try separately to make their lives more miserable?? Why don’t you just give up? Why do you want me to kill you? ’

‘Have you ever said anything this nasty to anyone? Imagine how good it would be for you to use all those expletives that you learnt from urban dictionaries but never used without getting them hurled back to you! I would be your punching bag. You could do anything that you want with me. All I demand is your five minutes.’

‘You think you are oversmart. All this while you are putting words in my mouth and you want me to believe that I am the boss????!’

‘Well. I have told you that I would write you nothing else but smart. You totally got me there!’ I flashed my teeth.

‘Ok. I have got nothing to do with you and your lousy love story. Do whatever you want to but don’t expect comments from me.’

‘Well I thought that you could comment..’

‘haha! You would have to do more than writing a post on me to make me comment in this filthy place. Market mein ijjat hai apni!’

‘Well then what do you expect me to do then? To make you comment on this post?’

‘Let me see. I would be generous to you. We go back a long back. So prove me wrong. Prove that you have got it. I know you would fail but I would give you a chance for old time’s sake.’

‘Okk. If it was not an ego thing before it has become one now for sure. You are going to regret it for sure. I mean if I prove my mettle I have won it outright but even if I keep writing crap posts, once in while you will have to come here and read a post to check if I have written something grand. It would make me extremely happy to see you suffer. Haha!’