SO yesterday we had our department valedictory function. Nothing special about it but then it made me feel the fact that in few days I will be gone from this place. Now that I look back I dont know how to react. 'Did I hate this place?' I often wonder. Well everything is done now and all I can do is get little sentimental.

Anyway I am not here blogging because I felt sudden urge to get senti and show people my sensitive side, but because tomorrow could well be the most important day of my academic life or life in general. We have out BTP(b tech project) presentations tomorrow morning and I havent even read my report fully. If I get through all these and be alive, then that would be the single most important achievemment of my entire academic life. So, this is what I love to do the most when I have some exam or something important the next day: I blog. It definitely makes you feel good about yourself. The assurance that you can reflect on things is great, but the real reason for happyness I think, is that it makes you feel like the hero of this film called life.

What else?! I can write many things here. About how I wasted my time, everytime in the old same way. OR the resolutions that made me frustrated. OR the eventual evolution to 'No Resolution Anymore'. I remember there were times when I felt sick after waking up on Monday mornings. The reason: I had wasted all my time doing nothing. Saturday was spent in celebration of start of the weekend and Sunday got wasted thinking and regretting that Saturday was over. More on it later.

Life is so screwed right now, I thought I would write a post. Most creative work of art is created by the total screwed ones, or so they say. So what is the reason of this absolute misery, I ponder. And I really see no specific, or at least 'reasonable' reason. Some of us just fall in love with misery. Some of the lucky ones I meant. Anyway, I am out of the words now. And now I know for sure that it takes more than a screwed up life to be artistic.

Anyway, I will write something more, you know..,for the heck of it. So this friend of mine, had a childhood love interest. Now he is a real 'sarif' kind, so he had it all planned out. He will get a decent job and eventually ask her to marry him. Seriously, I think there is something utterly romantic about it, right? I mean we are Indians, and while we might like to think that 'I love you' should be the most magical words; when in fact, I think, it's not. Ok, what I think doesn't really matter. On the similar lines, one of my other friends was asked by his love interest; who btw, did not know that she is his love interest, that how he is going to tell the love of his life that he loves him. He answered that he would ask her to marry him. The best possible answer I guess. Again, I dont always guess the right things.

So back to the first story. Now, my friend, here would definitely not like the idea of his love life being discussed on a public forum. Ok, no body reads my blog right now, but someday, this blog of mine, could win the best blog award, in popular awards category. So what ever, I write must be written with utmost care. Or, so I would like to believe. So what do I do next? The very simple idea. I should fictionalize his story, so that everyone is confused and nobody could ever make out the 'sir aur punchh' of the estory. Now, I would like to think that fictionalization is easy, when in fact, its not. Believe me, most of this story is correct. Wait a second, I have already done the job here, I guess. I have lost my credibility. Exactly what I wanted. And it had one other advantage too. My post has become little bigger, fatter. Fantastic.

I am getting this feeling that this could be the best blog written by me till now. Okk, that was a lie. I could only go dipper into the abyss. Okk, this is the first time I have used this word in my entire life; 'abyss' I mean, so do tell me if it is wrongly used. Forget it, I wont give your ideas enough heed anyway. So where was I?
In the abyss. So this friend of mine. He was simply awesome. I dont know why I wrote that. He was just another simple and confused guy. He would never kiss a girl even on yahoo messenger. He would run to kitchen if any girl started to flirt with him, again on yahoo messenger. But boy, he is studd. I guess the only one who exceeds me in 'talking skills' when it comes to,yeah right, yahoo messenger. Yahoo Messenger, single most important invention for MANkind.

Anyway, so where was I, again? So estory mein ek 'crisis' wali situation aur phir climax kaa hona zaroori hai. Believe me apni estori mein bhi crisis hai. So as we come to know after some time that the girl already has a boyfriend. Now the Indian girl just doesnt have a boyfriend because she feels that she wud be an outcast if she doesnt have any. Usne bhi apni saadi, aur hone wale bachcho ke sapne dekhne start kar diye hain.

So what possibly can the 'hero' do now? Anyway, the hero in our estory decides to do absolutely nothing. He is not among the ones who take matter in their own hand. Because if he did, no one else will have any fair chance. Ok. Dont take anything written here for the truth. So I made him watch 'Friends 1x11-The one with Mrs Bing'. Lovely sitcom, I tell you. This episode is really relevant. Full of my new found belief in Mrs Bing I told him that once he watched this episode, all insecurity and confusion will fade away. So if you havent watched this episode yet, you must. And if you have watched it already, then you sud go rewatch it.So Rachel is dating this Italian guy 'Paolo' and Ross is madly in love with Rachel. So they all are somewhere celebrating the record-breaking sales of Mrs Bing's latest book which(the books) invariably deal with the sexual part of human life. So Rachel and Paolo are doing all kinds of stuffs and Ross feels like a helpless idiot. So he drinks. There's this really funny scene where Ross comes out of a bathroom, and Mrs Bing (Chandler's mom) asks if he's okay. He says 'yes', but then a lady comes out of the same bathroom and you must see the expression on Ross' face. Priceless. However, the peak point of this episode is the conversation that follows after this incident. I'll copy paste it.

Mrs. Bing: She's supposed to be with you.

Ross: You're good.

Mrs. Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?

Ross: The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?

Mrs. Bing: No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off.

Ross: When?

Mrs. Bing: He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is.

Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?

Mrs. Bing: No, it's you!

And that sums it up. If you are in love, then you should know that you are the hero of the movie. A similar situation arises in 'The Holiday', where apni Kate Winslate is living a miserable life after being in love with a jerk for years. So here is this old man who delivers this line:
'You are leading lady of this film, but you have been acting like the heroine's best friend.'

Aur kya likhun yaar. Bore ho gaya hun. Hath dard kar rahe hain, type karne ke baad. Itna type kiya hota toh, EDP report complete ho jaati.

Indira Manudhane Best Undergraduate Teacher Award

(a)There is one award in this category, of Rs.70,000/-.

(b)The award will be decided primarily through voting by the students. The voting will be carried out on 26th April 2007 at 12:30pm immediately after the end semester exam of Chemical Processes (CL442) course.

(c)Students bearing registration nos.03xxxxxx (4th year B.Tech. and Dual degree students) will vote. These students will be required to stay back after they have handed in their answer paper in the examination. They will be served with two ballot papers against their signature, one for selecting the best teacher and the other for selecting the student excellence awardees.

(d)Voting is compulsory. Students will be required to sign against their names in a separate sheet for having voted. Grades of students not voting will be withheld.

(e)The ballot paper would contain a list of ‘eligible’ teachers (i.e., Professors who have taught the 4th year batch one or more core CL courses and have not been recipients of this award in the last three years), with the courses taught by her/him shown against her/his name. Each student selects the BEST TEACHER in her/his opinion by placing tick marks against the names.

(f)The selections will be by secret ballot, i.e., the students do not sign in the ballot papers. Signed ballot papers will not be counted.

(g)Each student places STRICTLY NOT MORE THAN ONE tick mark in the ballot paper. Ballot papers with more than one tick mark will not be considered.

(h)To be eligible for the award, a faculty member HAS TO GET MORE THAN ONE THIRD OF THE VOTES CAST.

(i)Subject to the above condition, the faculty members polling the highest number of votes will be declared the awardee.

(j)No award will be given if the votes polled are less than a third of the votes cast.


Once I read in Bombay Times this article written by this not so famous model and host Ruby Bhatia where she discussed his ideas about happiness. I was really impressed. I actually cut out the article, which I think is a very girly act. Anyway, she said that happiness is not doing the things that make you instantly happy but doing things that you think are right. She also said that one must be ready to accept the consequences of their acts. well, that I had heard before, but still that coming out of her mouth sounded different. I just hope that she had written the article herself.

So what's the big deal? There is no big deal. It's just that we do many things that we think make us happy, and they do, for about 10 minutes; but they spoil the mood for rest of the day. I often dream of the ideal life, and that indeed is one where I meet all my deadlines on time, and enjoyin the rest of day without the feeling of being an idiot who will never be able to put the pieces together. Close to nature, of course.

aint i lucky?!

Today's fortune:
Your luck has been completely changed today.

This is not the first time my luck has been changed. I had got exactly the same message the day I had got my job. Boy, was I happy! That was also the day I started believing in everything that Orkut Maharaj said.

So today I got this message again. I gave my 'Stochastic Processes' endsem exam today, and shitted all over the paper. To make things more interesting I got 12/35 in midsem. Two assignment were to be submitted too. First one, we(group assignment) did submit, and thought that we got 30/60, when in real our Prof did not receive the hard copy of it, and so she has given us all zero. Second one, we just did not care enough to submit.

So if I were to believe my fortune today, I am going to get an FR in this course, which will mean that I will have to stay here one more year. My college!! Dont I just love it?!

Nothing to worry though. I have heard that same thing can happen twice by fluke, but then thing happened twice already, has to happen the third time for sure. I am the master of my luck. I will change it some other day.


1) Jayawardane got out. He is most admirable captain I can think of. Simplicity personified.

2)Richard Gere kissed Shilpa. People are burning their effigies. I am proud of my country.

3)Just tried listening remix of zara-zara. These people should get their balls blasted.

4)This blog will never tell my true story. I will always try to look kool and people will always think that I am pathetic.

5)Now I know for sure that my favourite course in all my undergrad life was environmental sciences.

6)I was glad to realise that I feel sad thinking that my country is full of hypocritic morons. I guess I will soon find my passion too.

7)This writing style is not original. But I like it so far.

8)I am god. Yes, I lie sometimes. Just for fun.

The Quote

Today is the first day of rest of my life.


bole toh valedictory function. So I have been waiting eagerly, for this moment. And then it happened. And I thought I would be sentimental, but I was not. I still dont feel anything sad in particular. Of course, I am not working at all for my B tech project which is to be submitted on 16th, which accidently also happens to be the day my endsem exams start. So on 12th April, 2007 we had our valedictory function in our hostel. We have been attending hell lot of them lately, as valfis are organised in each of the 13 hostel that we have. In morning on 12th we had the last lecture of this course going by the name 'Chemical Processes II'. Nice name, I know. Anyway, so the prof, who happens to be a 'God' prof, talked about the 'soda ash' process(sodium carbonate, washin soda, NO??), and told us that how it is one of the oldest processes in chemical enginnering. So he cracked the joke that we are studying the oldest process on the last day of our course. We laughed. Then it was 9:30. He said, 'that's it.'. We expected something more. More sentimental I guess. Something like, 'I had a great time teaching you guys!'. Some tears in eyes would have been jus fine. So he wished us 'Best of luck for exams' and we were out of the room the next moment. That was the time when one of my friends said that he couldnt believe that we all had just attended the last lecture of our undergrad life. I told him that we had another lecture of the course, 'Stochastic Processes' the next day. He said he would like to end this journey on a rather memorable moment, right now, after attending prof Mahajani's lecture. Anyway, I remembered that we had our valfi the same evening, so it was near impossible to attend lectures the next day as the function dragged itself to the whole night ending around 6-7 the next morning. So this was indeed the last lecture that we had here.

Ok! Where was I? So what are the main features of Valfis? Supposedly good food. But we had been eating the food served by the same caterer in each of the hostels, and the special food no longer tasted special. I didnt feel like eating anything but I ate anyway. One important feature of valfi is 'Profile Reading' where the dear friends of ours write down the historical event of our life. Anyway, it is rather used as an oppurtunity to do the bashing. Gals, Orkut, Yahoo, Daaru and the other unmentionable things (Believe me, I am being very discreet.) are all you will get in the profiles. The more popular guy you are, the more bashing you should expect. Well, now I know that I am not that popular guy. Another criterion being the presence of female crowd. I had no one of them around me. One of my friends had this great idea of actually hiring some of them, wearing some supe sexy dresses, who would sit right around him, and the sole job of whom would be to smile randomly and bring their heavily lipsticked lips close to his ears occasionaly and pretend talking something very important. Well, anyway, after reading the profile, they will ask you all kind of questions. 'Are you a virgin?', 'Describe your first sexual experience?' 'Rank your female batchmates in order of their maalness.' are some of the frequently asked questions. Well, nothing of this sort was asked from me. How can they be so sure that I am still as 'pavitra' as Ganga mineral water?! They asked me to sing a britney spear's song. I blushed and sang first two lines of 'hit me baby one more time'. Then generaal things related to gals, yahoo and orkut.

So, after that comes the 'senti' part. And you are supposed to bring tears in the eyes of your friends. Okk, that is not correct. To expect anything from these guys, will be as big a mistake as mistaking me for superman. Little digression, once Shaan was to perform here for MI, and he was little late but his band had already arrived with this female who would accompany him in duets. So guys were impatient, and started shouting 'we want Shaan'. And this lady asks, 'Dont you want to listen to me?' And each one of them yelled even louder, 'NNNOO!'. Okk 'them' includes me too. Anyway, I had thought that at least on the night of valfi, I wud get a bit sentimental at least. No, nothing! As one of my friends rightly said in his senti, that we wud have to get out of here to miss it.

Anyway, not more than 2-3 weeks are left, and I feel nothing right now. I kind of thought that I did absolutely nothing here, but even that is not on my mind right now. May be I am plain happy that I am going to leave this place. I dont know what to write now.

Anyway, now that I remember my freshie and second year, I cant believe that I actually lasted the hectic business of the stinky schedules. I mean labs in afternoons, fully occupied slots in morning, viva preparation, assignments submission. Hell, I have got to be happy that I am out. Similar feeling I had about my school too. Each day, the same schedule, same teachers, same lectures. Cant imagine how I was able to make it through all of that. Anyway, I often cherished the great memories that I had of my school, and may be once I get out of here I will feel the same for IIT. Or may be not!

One thing that I am sure going to miss is ofcourse my friends. I really havent seen the 'real world' and I have my doubts if I would be able to find the kind of friends that I have become used to. Anyway, I know I have this thing for my old companians, and I know nothing would ever replace them.


So we have this sophie (A sophomore, and not the hot Sophie!) who brought us some rasgulle in a can. Two, to be precise. Two of my friends were with me. So one had to watch other two eat the yummy rasgulle. Anyway, the problem was solved in a chutki by this very intelligent friend of mine. We dint have any spoon so he had to dip his hand in the can and take the rasgulla out.(You think that's disgusting??! Read further, I would make you throw up.) Now, anyone who has eaten a rasgulla will tell you how painful it could be. Especially when you have no plate to take out the rasgulla on. So this very intelligent friend of mine takes out the rasgulla, holds it between his thumb and the finger write next to it, and instead of eating it in one shot he decides to bite it into two. Well, as expected the ras(syrup) comes dripping down from his half eaten rasgulla, and the smart chap that he is, he manages to keep the floor clean by collecting the dripping ras into the can again. Remember, the can had two rasgullas. Another one still inside it. My second friend saw the whole event, and disgusted that he was, he chose not to eat the rasgulla. All disgusting thing must be done by me. After cursing the mr smart ass for a considerable amount of time, I dipped my dirty hands into the can, full of ras and took out the rasgulla, and ate it in one shot.(And they say I am an idiot!) Anyway, the estory doesnt end here. We had a can of syrup and my other friend placed it at the edge of the table and ordered me to drink it. I said, 'abe fenk de na!' and knowing that my orders are never followed I decided that I must get up and through it out. This is where fun part begins. The clumsy, idiotic moron that I am, I spilled it all over the floor. And you should see my room. Papers( Of course HT!), notebooks, all the crap lie proudly on the floor. I had joined TIME and havent even read a single thing given by them. They were there too. And I had this problem of taking the books with me when I move out of my room. All problems solved now. So I am writing here, after a fun filled day, as the housekeeping staff have their chhutti time in evening. Dont I feel just exhilarated?!?!

I am now planning on giving up on rasgulla and 'friends' both. 'Friends', if not for them, I would have cracked a job in McKinsey. They waste your time. They will laugh at your misery (& not even behind your back!). I want to kill each one of them right now.

Anyway, here is this song that I vaguely remembered from my childhood days. Finally downloaded it from somewhere.

Jab aanchal raat ka lahraye,
Aur saara aalam so jaaye,
Tum mujhse milne, samaa jalakar,
Tajmahal mein aa jana.
Tum mujhse milne, samaa jalakar,
Tajmahal mein aa jana,
Jab aanchal raat ka lahraye..

Yeh Tajmahal joh chaahat kee,
AAnkhon ka sunhara moti hai,
Her raat jahan roohon kee,
Khamoshi zinda hoti hai,
Is Taj ke saaye mein aakar tum,
Geet wafaa ka dohraana.
Tum mujhse milne, samaa jalakar,
Tajmahal mein aa jana,
Jab aanchal raat ka lahraye..

Tanhayee hai jagi-jagi si,
Mahaul hai soya-soya hua,
Jaise kee tumhare khwabon mein,
Khud Tajmahal ho khoya hua,
Ho, Tajmahal ka khwab tumhi,
Yeh raaz na maine pahchana.
Tum mujhse milne, samaa jalakar,
Tajmahal mein aa jana,
Jab aanchal raat ka lahraye..

Joh maut mohabbat mein aaye,
Woh jaan se badhkar pyari hai,
Doh pyar bhare dil raushan hain,
Woh raat bahut andhiyari hai,
Tum raat ke is andhiyare mein,
Bus ek jhalak dikhlajana,
Tum mujhse milne, samaa jalakar,
Tajmahal mein aa jana,
Jab aanchal raat ka lahraye..

Jab aanchal raat ka lahraye,
Aur saara aalam so jaaye,
Tum mujhse milne, samaa jalakar,
Tajmahal mein aa jana.
Tum mujhse milne, samaa jalakar,
Tajmahal mein aa jana,
Tum Tajmahal mein aa jana.

If you have come here searching for this song. i dont have the download point for this song. One of my friends had this song and i had downloaded it from his computer by ftp.

Meri Kahani!

So it all started when I read a news article on rediff, about more than a year ago I suppose, discussing the kind of salaries IIM grads were expected to get that year. It had a link to this blog, of an IIM grad actually, where he compared the placement activites to Gulshan Grover, and himself to an abla nari. I clicked on it. And I had my first experience of reading a blog. Boy, was he impressive! It was a laugh riot. His blog remains the single most admired blog for many of his fans. People follow him religiously. Somehow he reminds me of Sachin Tendulaker. We (as in old, buddhay) have seen his glorious days. The way he used to creat the magic. The elegant straight drive. To be honest, we can never hate him. But we know that his days are gone, and we wouldnt be able to cherish those moments again. Boy! I am senti now. Anyway, I made the anology, because as is evident, his posts are definitely funny, but after having seen him at the best, I barely manage to pull off a smile now. And I really dont want to see him go. I hope that its just a phase in his life. And that is what I would like to think of the other blogs I visit. You can almost feel it. The loneliness. The feeling that the best is over and its all downhill now on. The glorious past. The days when they they competed to post the first comment on a new post. Everything.

For past one and a half year, I have seen it all. Yaa, I know I sound like a half-centurion, about-to-die old man, who can do nothing but talk about the past. And I really feel old sometimes. And sometimes, I feel I have grown old. Aged, that is. Anyway, this post is not about me. Well, the post is indeed about me. Blogging. I have been addicted to it for all this while. I look for the reasons. And I feel that may be it's the same old 'something, than nothing!' thing. But I just cant believe it. I dont want to believe it. I have seen the lives of people through it, I have related my life to their's. It (the reason) has got to be more deep, at least, better sounding.

Anyway, what prompted this post was another post. Actually a string of posts. I just added one of friend on Orkut and he had this link of his friend's blog (He is my friend too, Btw! And I have this strong feeling that he came to blogger to impress gals by randomly talking about IIT and the great views that he has about life in general!) He has written a post everyday. Quite regularly. And I felt that life goes on. People will blog, they will feel pathetic, they will get bored, they will leave and they will come back. Old people will leave, New people will come.

I so dont want to go to any new blogs. I want to see my 'hero' bloggers happy or sad, but not leaving. I have always had this thing with old things. I just dont find it correct to scrap old things out just because you got something new. They are not just some old things. They have witnessed a part of our lives. Bahut senti macha di yaar maine. Anyways, I feel little scared sometimes. The feeling that people who are doing just fine in this gloomy world, chulbuli basanti and the Great Sash might stop it one day. Yaa, I am a chicken heart.

The strange feeling is that even I find it a possibility. Giving up blogging, that is. Firstly I do waste a lot of time in it. But that cant be a reason. I see people leave, and I dont feel good. I have my expectations, and expectations are the cause of grief. And the funny thing is that I havent even started full time blogging yet, as in writing a post everyday. And I dont even share my url with anyone. Dont ask what's with me! It has got to be the low self steam. OR.. the stinky clothes. Dont ask.

Bahut kuch likh diya yaar. It's almost 11.


It's the high time that I write something so full of wisdom that people who claim to be intellegent,saram se paani paani ho jaayein. Okk, that was too rude. And also I dont really have anything funny or profound to say here.

Seriously, what should I write about? I cant help but feel pathetic as I look around for some source of inspiration. Only if my English was litle studd, I could write some extraordinary piece of fiction, as there content does not matter as long as you have been able to keep the readers glued to dictionary. Okk! That was something. A statement, quite original. Not necessarily correct, but that doesnt matter anyway.

okk! This post has got to be about something. Why are all of my posts sound so very much like each other?! Okk! I think I would have to talk about the 'love' love. Quoted because its the gurlfriend-boyfriend kind of love. Now my experience with this kind of love is zero, but then I have watched a lot of movies. And I am quite capable of coming up with some of the best lines. Or so I think! So as I have said, love gives us all a reason. And that is definitely important. A reason to live, a reason to die. Love. Nothing can justify our idiotic acts better. Okk! The discussion should be concentrated on some subjects so as to prove a point. And I am quite not sure what my point is. One thing for sure is that love is overhyped. But then people (in the movies) say that the divine goal of human life is to search for the one thing that you love. Okk! I am trying hard to sound sophisticated.

This post is full of crap. How could someone write such a post??

Jaa raha hun main chullu bhar pani mein doob marne ke liye.

just for the heck of it!

I know I wont be funny this time. I know, hard luck for you guys! what to do!

ANyway, I sit here writing as I have exactly ten minutes to do it. And the title is self explanatory. The reason is that now it's almost the end of my not so wonderful life here. But last few days have been good. Valfis, i.e. Valedictry functions are the reason that we have been getting good food each and every day.

Whatelse man???? I have to submit my project report in one week. I just hope that I get a bit serious about that. Just finished watching Finding Neverland. And I am just amazed how they make such powerful films. And I realise how I have stopped dreaming. About future. And I complain that I dont have any motivation. And I sometimes feel that I am not even living a life. But then I had watched Little Miss Sunshine and kind of liked the idea that 'the years that you think sucked the most, were the best days of your life'.

I sometimes wonder whether love wud have been same if there were no movies. And I am totally proud of the feeling that I know that love can be faked. Actors. They do it all the time. Now I have got to write about sex too. I think that love and sex both can act as supreme motivators. I mean a man will literally go to hell, and then come back, and you can justify these acts just by saying that he was in love. anyway, i want to leave this at an ambiguous note. As I think that that will left the readers confused. And as all know, more one speaks, more reality (insipidity, in my case) comes out in stark.

And also becus I gotta go.