So I think. At times. Actually often. Some really profound thought.

So when I could not figure out why people thought that ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stranger’ was a profound statement, I thought. And I thought profoundly.

The profound thinking actually died away in sometime. And I wouldn’t be writing this post if I had not seen Van Helsing, an animation series, where the protagonist says ‘Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’. And then I watched ‘A Dark Knight’ again. I actually wanted to see the robbery part where joker actually says the above mentioned dialog. But then, I have heard so many people say so many profound things about the movie that I decided to watched it again for the ‘n’th time. It’s a different thing that I really missed subtitles but I think I got whatever was profound about the movie.

SO back to the statement ‘Whatever…whatever!’

So I actually thought ‘whatever’ was actually whatever you can think of. Like say Tiger biscuit. It doesn’t kill you and hence it should make you stronger. Profound indeed. You eat Tiger biscuit and you become stronger. And when you eat Tiger biscuit you will more likely to be friends with dogs than human being and so it can also make you stranger.

But then after I woke up today. I thought again. And I think I got it. And it was profound.

So in both the situations the speaker is involved in some kind of battle. A life and death kind of battle. And this ‘whatever’ is most likely to be the wounds that you get while fighting. And as long as you can bear the pain and you refuse to die, you will become stronger. In that way, pain is good. In real life, you don’t get to get in real battles. But still, life itself is a battle, and you better be fighting in it, for it. And so don’t worry, you might be down, you might have lost everything – your honor, self esteem, money – but still try hard to remain alive. Because what you lost, and what you suffered will not go waste. When you stand up again, it will take more than what it did before to bring you down. I love idealism.

Now take our dear joker. He says – Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stranger. Sounds too kool if you hear him say it. Anyway, What possibly could it mean? For one thing, it might just mean that the only purpose of being alive is to be dead someday. And you should actually die at the first opportunity you get because otherwise you will become stranger – you will actually start to enjoy the feeling of having survived something that could have killed you and hence you might lose your respect for death. The other more obvious and less philosophical implication could be that the wounds will leave scars and with each scar you lose the identity that you originally had.

The obvious difference between two sets of statements is that in the first case it is spoken by the person who is most likely wounded by ‘whatever’. In the second case, the wounder (hehe.. come to think of it..i had a joke to share..All the projects that I have worked now till now have closed down (BAND) and so I am a BANDAR, as a friend called me) says it.

Anyway, I am proud of now. Not because of the profound thought – they are routine for me now. But because I actually wrote down this post.


this is one of the serious attempts that fail miserably but have the good intentions behind them.

When you want something from the bottom of your heart the whole universe conspires to make sure that you dont get it. And its true. And i know that you know its true. Or is it just me with a series of unfortunate events????

anyway, i never wanted to be special in this way. wen nothing comes without trying hard, you can actually get solace in the fact that you are not ranting abt it. but what the duck, you know tht u deserve better.

ok. time for sutta break. will write more on life later. i know i knw almost everything abt it.

This has been a really long time, right??? Anyway, I think I will do that long pending tag.

Five quirky aspect of my personality (as if I have it????! “Gawwd, I am funny!”)

1. I don’t like myself often. Not specifically at the times when I act stupidly. Actually that is not that. I usually don’t like myself when I know that I have done some stupid acts. And given the level of IQ that I have I almost always know when I have done something stupid. My life is doomed.
2. I hate myself for many other reasons as well. I think I am very apologetic. Well, everything comes down to low self esteem and hence understandable.
3. I hate myself for not being able to complain. I read ‘Veronika decides to die” sometime ago and came to know about it suddenly. Borrowed knowledge. (who is original here anyway, except may be Howard Roark from “Fountain Head”. My friends tell me that novel sux. Well I liked it. It reminded me of “Kane and Abel”. Plus I have come to know that I like novels with ‘larger than life’ characters.)
4. Now this one is really quirky one. I actually think that I will become a national celebrity after writing the three points above. Well, I actually think that these traits are quite common and remind you that you are actually reading your life story. Is that defense mechanism at work??
5. kya likhun?? Hmmmmm. Kya likh dun??? Hmmm. I still love myself. Well, hopefully.

What is a named range in excel? How is it useful? - Named Ranges are a powerful tool in Excel that allows you to assign a meaningful name to a single cell or a range of cells. For example, you can assign the name "TaxRate" to cell C1 and then use the name "TaxRate" anytime you would normally use the cell C1, such as =A5*TaxRate.

There are 3 advantages to using Named Ranges:

* Formulas are more readable and meaningful. A formula like =A5*TaxRate is more meaningful to you when you are working with a complex worksheet.
* Named Ranges, by default, always use absolute cell references. Therefore, you don't have to worry about address translation, which occurs with relative cell references, when you Copy/Paste or Fill Down/Right cell ranges. (For more information about absolute and relative cell references, click here.)
* Named Ranges make it easier to create well organized and attractive workbooks. You can use a named reference, rather than a cell address, in formulas, and then define that name to a specific cell after you've designed the workbook. With Named Ranges, you won't have to edit and change the dependent formulas. Just change the reference of the name.
What is the difference between a function and a subroutine in VBA? What is the difference in declaration? - A function returns a value, a subroutine does not. Sub vs. function as .
just two questions

sunday evening. end of another weekend. life sux.

and i know i havent been writing much lately. and i know i should. writing witty and hilarious and great posts at least made me feel like a true stud. for a change.

anyway. so whats in the menu today?

i want to write about one particular incidence when i sang "imtahaan ho gayee intezaar ki" in loo. i also want to write about my own versions of some songs. and believe me they are hilarious. at least too me. my own versions of some tv ads as well. i am very attached to word 'judaai' baai the way. ' judaai, juddai.. hai yeh kaise judaai', 'chaar dino ka pyar ho rabba, badi lambi judaai' are some songs which have my versions. anyway, we went to a kool place for water rafting last weekend. and i suddenly remebered this mountain dew ad. "Darr sabko lagta hai. **** sabki phat-ti hai." ok. forget it.

so is that it? what about the other open ended posts that i have always wanted to write about?? what about those incidents that i have always thot as hilariously "bloggable"? what about that specifically hilarious moments from movie "Hum kisi se kum nahi" that i watched few days ago? yes the same movie with song "chaand mera dil".

what about writing that ultra sophisticated, senti and feel-good post that i wanted to end with a "life is good" punch line? and what abt that post which will make all haat, single and dumb gals fall in love with me? and what abt tht post which starts with "jaane kahan gaye woh din, kahte the teri raah mein taaron ko hum bichhayenge" song?

any way, blogging for me is one way of telling to world that i am kool and studd. i have never really seen it as story of my life. becus there are so many things that i dont write about. and they are the things that truly define me. another post on blogging. sex. sux*. damn!

So I know I suck but I actually want to write a story. Now I don’t know what I am going to write about but I know the start and end of it. In the start the protagonist (who is very much like me, coincidences!) is asked by someone, either by God or by Life itself – ‘What do you want from me?”. There are two options available to the protagonist. He can either say ‘Nothing’ or ‘Everything’. Ironically, the tale will end with the same question being again asked to the protagonist. Earlier I thought I will make the protagonist say ‘Nothing’ in the beginning and ‘Everything’ in the end, obviously signifying the change of attitude towards life. But I think making him (the protagonist) say ‘Nothing’ in the end as well will really make sure that people know that he is the hero from the start and I cant possibly write some ass-kicking character-developing subplots which will change his attitude for good. Now even saying ‘Nothing’ in reply to the question can be seen in two ways. One where the protagonist is really not much into taking things from someone as he is someone who believes in making things work for himself. Second, he just doesn’t need anything. As he already has everything. This two cases can very well form the beginning and end scenes of my story where the protagonist is asked the same questions and he replies in the same way.


Ok. I think I am making lots of sense lately. Not good for business. Anyway, Let’s see how we can make the ends meet.

So whats up? I have no idea why I am no longer able to narrate events taking place in my life. Or is it just that there is absolutely nothing happening in my life? No. I think I don’t want to write whatever is happening in my life. Firstly because I won’t be able to exactly narrate those moments of not-so-extreme happiness. Secondly. This blog is about high thinking. I mean you are already living your life. And now you want to write it down??!! I mean wont you get bored of life?? Ok. I like writing crap.


Anyway, so sometimes a wish there was no break. Because, whenever there is a break. I physically take a break but in the back of my mind, I am always thinking about uncompleted task. And I just think. I don’t exactly do anything to get done with everything. I am a loser.


And what the heck has happened to me?? I am not even writing about love? I mean everyone can write about love. And as long as I am able to write anything unconventional, new on the topic, I am the boss. Love is something that is used to justify extreme cases of insanity in people who are not insane. Ok. Crap. Anyway, let me talk about it little more. Have you seen Matrix Reloaded? My favourite scene is one where neo meets the architect. The room that he gets into, had these small screens, remember? And in each of the screens, you will see, one of the possible ways in which neo will respond to the architect. Genius.  


Ok, I wanted to write about how matrix reloaded is related to love. But let’s chuck it.



Ok. So what did I want to write in my last post? I wanted to write about how busy I have been lately. Working crazy hours. Wondering if its really worth it. And how at times I feel that I would never be this busy in my life again. And how at times I actually think that I am working inefficiently.  Anyway, I really never want to say that I am busy. We always have time. It’s just that our priorities change.  I want to write something more about priorities and time management and shit. Chuck it.


So I had seen this short about 10 minutes long animation which used to come on TV. So a man, a real baseball enthusiast, gets married. His dream? To have 6-7 or whatever number of sons to be able to make a top baseball team of his own. Ok, his wife gets pregnant. Damn. It’s a baby girl. He says its ok. There will be another time. Another time. Another girl. And then another girl. He has faith. so ther is always another time. And after n number of years he has n girls to take care of. He is a frustrated man now. Girls grow up a little. One day he notices that girls are playing baseball. He notices that he has got just enuf number of girls to make a baseball team. But he knows that girls cant get him where his boys would have taken him. Anyway, girls make a team of their own. They are good at baseball.


Fast forward. There is this very important ladies baseball tournament going on. It’s a day of final match. Our very own sisterhood team has played brilliantly and people know that these gals will win. But the father is very anxious. He knows that his gals will lose the match. He must do something. Now there is this important point of match where the girls have to hit a homerun to ensure victory. The anxious father wears the helmet and does something to himself so that people around him wont recognize that he is he and not a she. He pulls back his daughter, a clean hitter who would have hit the first ball out of the stadium. A digression, in baseball, you get three balls to hit. If you miss all of them, it’s a strike for the pitcher. And other team will win. Father misses the two balls. Now comes the third ball. The father swings, and thinks that he missed. But the next second he sees that the ball has gone for a homerun. He has won the match for his daughters. He is proud of himself.


BUT, what did really happen? One of his daughters had come from the back and hit the ball that his father missed. Now don’t ask me how that is possible and how nobody noticed. I loved this animation.



Ohhk. I said ohhk. I definitely said ohhk. I most probably said ohhk. Ohhk.


So whats happening in my life? Seriously.. what’s happening in my life???


Nasha ye pyar ka nasha hai

Yeh meri baat yaaro maano.

Nashe mein yaar doob jaao.

Raho na hosh mein diwano.


Damn. Blogging used to be fun. I guess it still is. Anyway, I watched the dark knight. I earlier thot it was ‘dark night’. Its been quite some time since I checked IMDB. I should do that right now. Ki jab se maine tumko yeh dil de diya, meetha meetha sa dard le liya. Suno ho priya, maine tumko dil diya.




Whoever pursues a dream, is a runner.


Sometimes  I wonder how it would be. Reading this blog of mine in distant future. Would I be able to recollect what really was happening in my life back then? Would I look at my posts and think that I used to write so well and given that in future I will be rich and frustrated, wud I wonder ‘what happened?’. I have always romanticized sadness. Would I look at my posts and feel that I was happy back then, the way now I look at my childhood and think that I was really happy at some specific moments.


I really want to write about this week. I am really not very much into expecting things from people. And then when they do do thing that I don’t expect, it feels freaky at times. As in, seriously. It wasn’t a big deal. But it really feels so good wen someone makes you realize that they care.


So I have been working for almost a year now. And in start wen I had just joined in, one of the seniors, who is actually from my college, called me ‘beta’ out of nowhere. Earlier I was not sure and looked around to make sure that he was actually talking to me and not someone else. Anyway, everything was fine except one thing. One of the colleagues in my team, a girl actually, started laughing with her friend. ‘Isne tumko ‘beta’ bulaya kya??’ I laughed as I really don’t believe in disappointing people and would laugh at anything if they expect me to laugh. Anyway, as it turned out that he, the senior, had actually called her ‘beti’ a while ago and hence I got a sister and a baap in the organization.


Anyway, this was a good week, satish!


Most probably dated: 05Jul2008



haat girl: May be you want to buy me a drink?
Nash: I don't exactly know what I am required to say in order for you to have intercourse with me. But could we assume that I said all that? I mean essentially we are talking about fluid exchange right? So could we go just straight to the sex?
Alicia: You dont talk much, do you?
Nash: I cant talk to you about my work, alicia.
Alicia: I dont mean work.
Nash: I find that polishing my interactions in order to make them sociable.. requires a tremendous effort. I have a tendency to expedite the information flow.. by being direct. i often dont get a pleasant result.
Alicia: try me.
Nash: All right. I find you attractive. your aggresive moves towards me indicate that you feel the same way. but, still, the ritual requires that we continue with a number of platonic activities before we have sex. I am proceeding with those activities, but in point of actual fact, all i reaaly want to do is have sex with you, as soon as possible. are you gonna slap me now?

Well, blogging is a serious business. For me, at least. I mean you don’t blog for few days and you feel like you are very busy and mature and you start wondering that how you even started as stupid a thing as blogging. Anyway, I am writing crap now. The problem with people like me is that we write crap and then we say that its crap to make people aware that we might write crap but we know that we write crap and we don’t give a crap if someone thinks that we write crap but we sure give some crap about the fact that people must definitely not think of us as stupid morons with a superiority complex and that is why we make it absolutely clear at the very beginning that we write crap. The chances are that after reading the last line, anyone in his right state of mind will not continue reading it. But the last sentence that I wrote just now, would definitely make him wait for a while and force him to go on and read another sentence. Well, my friend this is a genuine advice, don’t go on. Please.

Well, I want to talk some sense now. Conviction is a funny thing. You have gotta be utterly stupid to absolutely believe in something. There is another side of the story. You are so intelligent that you know the truth and you stick to it. And then there are the ones who fall in between. They are not stupid enough to believe in something unquestioningly and not smart enough to see the truth. Well, as you have rightly guessed I think of myself in this category. But not very far from being a complete idiot. So I gotta try little harder and become one. Crap.

I want to talk some more sense now. Experience must help one in defining shit. You should never buy shit. There are people who can sell shit. If you are not one of them, you are the one who will be buying shit from one or other. So if you are able to recognize shit the benefit is two fold. You will never buy shit and you can actually sell shit. Ok now if you are impressed with this paragraph, then you know who you are.

Anyway, being truthful and sticking to your conviction is a long term investment. If you stick, you will have your rewards for sure. But if you don’t, it is not necessary that you will regret. In fact you can end up better. Crap again.

You know I absolutely despise creature who are themselves very pathetic but try hard to project the image of one who know things. But I don’t despise myself. I must be exceptional.

ohhk. i had seen this many many years before on doordarshan. its a boys birthday. and he cud celebrate it the way he wanted. instead he asks his father how he used to celebrate his budday. his father begins tells him about his own life wen he was almost his age. back then he had attended one of the 'mordern' budday parties where the budday boy had cut a cake and got plenty of gifts including a cycle. so he(the father wen a boy) dreamed about having his own big budday party, cutting a cake, dressing well and getting a cycle. but he belonged to a well-off but 'not-very-modern' family with parents who cared for him but who will always try to make some sense out of everything. they had attended the 'modern-family-boy's budday but i would like to believe now that it was out of respect or some sense of duty. Like some really sophisticated people(e.g. forest gump) budday celebrations (read extravagance) did not make any sense to them. So the boy's budday comes. they start the day early. they cooked nice food. they made him wear real nice traditional kurta pajama ( with some chhotu-pagdi i guess). The boy is happy. he knows that he will have a big budday party in evening. anyway, in afternoon, they(the parents of the father of the boymentioned in third sentence!) distribute kambal and clothes to needy people by boy's hand. they (the poor) blesses the boy. the boy was happy. he will have the big budday party in the evening.

The evening comes. boy looks around. nothing seems to be happening in the house. he is little worried now. i think he was not aware of the idea of 'surprise' parties back then. in panic, he goes to his father and asks ki 'budday kab manayenge mera?' and his dad replies ki 'beta, budday toh manaa liya na?!' the boy is disappointed.

this is one of the very lively memories of father. some of the events that shape up your life as you grow older and come to realise how big they were. the father is proud of his parents. the boy is in a car with his father. the boy, definitely more mature to understand these things than his father was as a kid, most probabily bcus he has had those 'big' parties before, grasps the essence and importance of the story immediately. the car is parked on road with a slum area sideby. he takes few of his toys, that he doesnt play with anymore with him, goes to children, playing in one of the streets of this slum area and gives the toys to them. the boy is proud of his father.

Anyway, i have turned 23 now. earlier i thot that i will not tell anybody and call everyone up the next evening and make them wish me happy budday. but as the day's gone and nobody wished me, i have made it pretty clear to everyone that they sudnt expect any happy budday from me for next twenty years.

and as i was talking to my dear pondy, who was one of the very few people, who knew about my budday but still did not wish me on time; he told me that how noone had wished him on his budday. Guilt and happiness. i felt them both. but it was temporary as he said that a month later his gang arranged a surprise party for him. damn you pondy!

Assume that it rained when god pissed from heaven. So what do you think god must be doing when it’s snowing?

Particulates, basically charred carbon particles, visible by naked eyes are one of the many components in gases that pollute air. Did you know that?  I hope you did. But did you know that they helped in process of raining as well? I hope you didn’t. Because in this post I am gonna tell each one of you exactly that. So these particulates go up in atmosphere and they get suspended after reaching a certain height. How they get suspended, you ask. Because as you go up the density of air decreases and at one point their weight is exactly balanced by the air surrounding it. Anyway, particulates help in the process of raining by acting as platforms for what is called nucleation. The vapors start condensing on these particulates and make a big enough drop that is heavy enough to drop. Anyway, that is not the end of story.


If we have a significant increase in the concentration of these particulates in atmosphere then fixed amount of water vapors will have many particulates to condense on and that can actually result in formation of small water droplets that wouldn’t be heavy enough to fall down. And they will just suspend there. And we won’t get rains. Interesting, no?




Harry: You know you just get to a certain point where you get tired of the whole thing.

Sally: What "whole thing"?

Harry: The whole life-of-a-single-guy thing. You meet someone, you have the safe lunch, you decide you like each other enough to move on to dinner. You go dancing, you do the white-man's over-bite, go back to her place, you have sex and the minute you're finished you know what goes through your mind? How long do I have to lie here and hold her before I can get up and go home. Is thirty seconds enough?

Sally: That's what you're thinking? Is that true?

Harry: Sure! All men think that. How long do you want to be held afterwards? All night, right? See there's your problem, somewhere between thirty seconds and all night is your problem.

Sally: I don't have a problem!

Harry: Yeah you do.




Harry: Would you like to have dinner?... Just friends.

Sally: I thought you didn't believe men and women could be friends.

Harry: When did I say that?

Sally: On the ride to New York.

Harry: No, no, no, no, I never said that... Yes, that's right, they can't be friends. Unless both of them are involved with other people, then they can... This is an amendment to the earlier rule. If the two people are in relationships, the pressure of possible involvement is lifted... That doesn't work either, because what happens then is, the person you're involved with can't understand why you need to be friends with the person you're just friends with. Like it means something is missing from the relationship and why do you have to go outside to get it? And when you say "No, no, no, no, it's not true, nothing is missing from the relationship," the person you're involved with then accuses you of being secretly attracted to the person you're just friends with, which you probably are. I mean, come on, who the hell are we kidding, let's face it. Which brings us back to the earlier rule before the amendment, which is men and women can't be friends.


So I think. If I am really stupid or I feel this shittedness because I am too intelligent. On my ‘supposedly’ one-on-one with my manager I was told that I have this great ability of being able to find mistakes in things. And also, (they told me) that I have got great potential and I am gonna go places. Now I am not sure if they say such things to every guy that they don’t give any raise to.  And just now I realized that may be he was true afterall. May be this error-finding ‘great’ ability of mine is the reason I feel stupid everytime. Self-analysis will either kill me one day or make me a billionaire. Its not like I will either succeed or fail so the chances are 50-50. Odds are important here. If  there were say 100 satish’s (plural for Satish) living in 100 parallel universes with exactly the same life as I have had till date (each one of them writing this blog on outlook and thinking whether the other 99 are thinking about him or not!), there will be only 1 (or 2, may be) satish who will live to spend his filthy sum of money on dog races and hostile takeovers (and on Russian whores, may be) and all others will die a death ranging from the death of a stray dog - who got hit by an auto accidentally – and that of a dog who chose death over life and purposely got onto the way of an unbreakable BMW.


And so I think. That how people become so important in one’s life. And how we think that life stinks everyday. And how really unimportant each one of us are. And how really really unimportant our problems must be. And still.. I think.


There are thousand things wrong with me. And yet I find it hard to find a single thing worthwhile in me. May be I should get the job of assistant trouble-shooter who wud obviously ‘assist’ his master in finding problems with the system.


And I am really not convinced myself if I am really gud at it. I am a lousy judge of men. Most of the times I don’t find it important to judge people. Most of the times I will give people more than ten chances of winning my admiration. Most of the times I will like to believe that I haven’t yet seen the best of that son of a bitch. Most of the time..


And for the people who believe that judging people is B-A-D-bad, I won’t say anything. With age, poise will come.


And have you heard of Macroman??! He is the most powerful man in the thousand universes. Even more powerful than Superman. But let me first give a brief introduction of macros. Wikipedia says, ‘A macro in computer science is a rule or pattern that specifies how a certain input sequence (often a sequence of characters) should be mapped to an output sequence (also often a sequence of characters) according to a defined procedure. The mapping process which instantiates a macro into a specific output sequence is known as macro expansion.’ I don’t understand a word of it. So two of the main tools extensively used in our work are 1) MS Excel(PPTs, Words bhi include kar lo yaar!) and 2)SAS, ie Statistical Analysis Software. So people who use excel and think that it’s a dumb tool, must perish in ignorance as I find it quite sophisticated and there is always something new that you could learn about it. Anyway, if you ask me, a macro is something that is used to automate lousy processes and thus increase efficiency and accuracy.


Macroman is the man who can write macros on any kind. He can write macro to create a nuclear bomb and another macro to change that nuclear bomb to a nuclear reactor. The man is a genious. Macroman is our man.

I will try to have a normal start. Its almost 3 years since my introduction to blogging world. I have survived it a long time. I have thought few times about giving it up altogether. but I don’t want to say ‘never’. And I surely won’t post a farewell post. I will just go away. And hopefully comeback. And that said, its implied that this is surely not the last post. So don’t you try to be too happy!


But I would definitely like to leave blogging one day. Somehow I feel that bloggers are basically sad people. I think there are few exceptions and I just hope that I am right. And there is this thing about me. I would leave blogging one fine day, just to be able to come back years later, and write how things have been with me. It will be like meeting an old friend.



Anything I write here, in fact everything I write here is nonsense. And earlier it used to be adorable nonsense. But now it has become pathetic and stinky nonsense. And now, I don’t even try to be funny. That’s the sad part of it.


And lately I dream a lot. And believe me you don’t want to have that kind of dream. All the night, I will have ‘When you come undone’ playing inside my mind and on repeat. And the worst part is that I wake up suddenly and realize that I was actually not sleeping this whole time. Interestingly, I thought I was Neo of Matrix. Anyway, this is another Friday night again. And I am still in office. The one thing that I wanted to do in my life was throw my resignation letter at my bosses face. I had seen it in my dreams: One day I will get frustrated, overworked, exhausted and broke; and then I will quit and feel like a King. AAh, some dreams are not to be..


Becoming a billionaire seems to be a difficult proposition right now. And then I see around. And I find lots of people doing pretty well in their lives. Making money should not be this difficult. Seriously. Par phir wahi baat ho jaati hai ki these people could actually be one in a lakh, and given the population of India, there will still be 10000 people. And how many of them are billionaires?? The shit-analysis above is one of the many characteristics of a man who will never succeed.


I want to delete this post. But I wont.


Ok. I bought The Prodigal Daughter last nite. I have read it before but I wanted to read it again after I finished reading Kane and Abel. The funny thing is that I didn’t even know that it was a sequel of another book. Angrezi kamjor hone ke bhi apne faayade hote hain, I guess. Anyway, I never thought The Prodigal Daughter to be a great book. But Kane and Abel, I found very fascinating, even when I think it was quite predictable. One thing that I am missing lately is not being able to read consistently.


P G Wodehouse. I never thought I would cry reading it. Literally. And not even khusi ke aanshun. Ridiculous Characters. Forced plots. I would have torn the book apart if it was cheap and of my own.


What else?? I have to make REVERSE presentation on something. AND the project that I am working on is high VISIBILITY project. AND I watched Scent of a Woman last night on Zee Studio.


I want to go home. But I have some work. And I could have finished my work. And gone home. But I haven’t. Ok.



Ok. I bought The Prodigal Daughter last nite. I have read it before but I wanted to read it again after I finished reading Kane and Abel. The funny thing is that I didn’t even know that it was a sequel of another book. Angrezi kamjor hone ke bhi apne faayade hote hain, I guess. Anyway, I never thought The Prodigal Daughter to be a great book. But Kane and Abel, I found very fascinating, even when I think it was quite predictable. One thing that I am missing lately is not being able to read consistently.


P G Wodehouse. I never thought I would cry reading it. Literally. And not even khusi ke aanshun. Ridiculous Characters. Forced plots. I would have torn the book apart if it was cheap and of my own.


What else?? I have to make REVERSE presentation on something. AND the project that I am working on is high VISIBILITY project. AND I watched Scent of a Woman last night on Zee Studio.


I want to go home. But I have some work. And I could have finished my work. And gone home. But I haven’t. Ok.



I want to write something incredibly funny. And I don’t want to write I am god. Or I am the stupidest creature in this world.


So, late in night, we wanted to have a glass of tea. And Bangalore rocks so we cant find a hotel open after 10:10. And getting milk in night is pain. But we believe we gotta do what we gotta do.


At one suttee ki dukan + kinda grocery store -


My roomie: Boss, doodh hai kya?

Boss: ‘Eritage’ hai.

My roomie: HAIN?

Boss: ‘Heritage.’

My roomie: doodh hee hai  naa?

Boss: haan. Ten rupees.


Hehe. Bakaiti. Aptly used word by my friend. Ab apan log itne bhikari toh nahi lagte yaar ki dus rupaye afford naa kar paayein. Us din raat ko hamne HERITAGE doodh se bani chai pee.

Friday night. 8:43 PM. And I am sitting in office writing a post. I need to get some life. Anyway, lately Life Sux has become my favourite dialogue once again. Reminds me of my college days wen I was dying to get out of it. Anyway, I definitely had something in mind. Oh. Ok. All this while I though that being disorganized is no big deal. I thought it was rather kool. But now I kind of realize that the way I am disorganized in my life is actually a reflection of how disorganized I am in my thoughts. And everything would have been kool if it wasn’t for the consequences you have to face wen you live in real world.


Friday night. 9:03 PM. I am still sitting here.


Friday night. 9:09 PM. I am still sitting here.


Friday night. 9:28 PM. And I am about to go in 10 minutes.



Here by the ocean, waves carry voices from you..


So. I wanted to write about this incident. I am not very fond of horror movies. The sad thing is I usually get scared when I watch a horror movie. I have tried different mechanisms to get around the issue, like imagining that everything is happening in front of a camera and all. Anyway, so I watched Exorcism of Emily Rose in one of those gloomy nights, way back, in 2005, I suppose, when the movie was released, in my hostel room. Alone. And I survived. And then I slept. And then I woke up. At 3:00. And I wanted to go pee. And if you have seen the movie, one of its many profound dialogues is ‘At 3 they come.’ Or something. Things get messy in movie as soon as its 3:00 am. In a hostel, technically there is no night. So whenever you get out of your room, you will definitely find someone. I was so scared, I knew I wouldn’t go to bathroom. And so I got up on the bed, and from the window of my room on second floor I pissed.

Yeh hai estyle…

Yeh hai Ssstyle..

Long time no see. And here I was expecting to see some fan mails pleading for mercy and insisting that I write. In this hope I didn’t even tell anyone that I was home (such a lovely phrase!) this holi. Yeah, I went home. And on my way back here, I even dropped into (hehe, my angrezi is a funny language!) Mumbai. Met some friends. And drank vodka with lemonade. So it was gud. Except the fact that life sux. By definition.

So whats the news?? Mere haath hare aur laal ho chuke hain.

So what was it that I wanted to write? I was thinking about writing about myself. And it was after I realize that I sudnt be worried about letting people see the REAl me as everytime I come up with the description of ‘REAL’ me, I find that that’s totally not me to my utter surprise. So one of the many things we can do here is type what we thinks about wishself. (hehe! Too funny!)

Its damn boring. The only thing that worries me nowadays is that I am too introspective and one day I will die. Confused. And as there must be some contradiction, I also think that even if I did figure out everything about life, happiness and universe, I wud be too old(may be on deathbed) to look life from that perspective and live it. So there I go. Or it may be that perspectives will change. Whatever. People tell things not knowing that they are confused and what they do is nothing but plagiarism but they are still confident. And in that sense ignorance is bliss. You go to buy mobile phones without information and then weep for the rest of your life. in that case ignorance is not that blissful.

Anyway. Where was I? Haan. You have seen V for Vendetta and you talk about personal freedom. Okk..forget it.

And, I remember that we often say ‘system hee bekaar hai’. And one particular day I suddenly realized that this is so true. It’s the system that has helped western countries develop. It’s the system that has kept us from moving forward. Seriously. System suxx. System is everything. An efficient system will lead to more amount of work for a given amount of energy. Hehe. Yeah. Kam akal engineer.

What else??

Today is a particularly sad day. For ridiculous reasons. Its one of those days when you realize how pathetic you are. For me, its one of those days when I realize that I have been pathetic all these days. In all probability I am not going to discuss those ridiculous reasons. Lets see if I stick to this.


And the things that I am doing to escape the reality of this cruel world (sounds funny coming from me, :D, in fact =)), I absolutely rock! Ok back to sadness). Hehhe. Seriously. I am literally laughing (yaa, the way people laugh in jane austen’s novels!). Its funny how things look really funny once you start writing them down.


Anyway, its been really long since I have written anything personal I guess. And no, I am not going to write any here. In the obvious attempt to prove my studdness, I have told my friends, including my roommates about this blog. And they don’t read it quite often. As should be expected from any sane person. But then there should be those moments, I guess in their lives, when they think that things can not get any worse, and so they come visit my blog. And I deliver.


Seriously yaar. Why don’t I just go ahead and write things? They will appreciate my courage. Right? Aah. Yaa!! *Rolling Eyes*


So whats next?? I will write some quotes.

  1. All good men are taken, gay, dead or intelligent. (Believe me it sound VERy funny in my head.)
  2. I am really funny. (what!! I have made bullet points. I got to write some more for the sake of it, right?? So that you appreciate the funniness of the above statement.)
  3. okk. that’s it.
  4. I cant find anything interesting to write now.
  5. okk. but I will continue to write in bullets.
  6. What is love? is a question that has kept many females awake late in night, early in morning and at noon. I will tell you whats love. Its one soul’s recognition of its counterpart in this universe. Sounds perfect right? I got it from ‘the wedding crashers’. Pity you will now find it fake. Plus my earlier plan was to reiterate it whenever any girl asks me to define love for her. Gotta make some more searches in google now I guess.
  7. aur apni studdness ke barare mein kya bataaun main. For last three or four days my status on gtalk was ‘I am a rockstar.’ And just now I changed it to ‘I am not a rockstar and I don’t give autographs.’ Seriously yaar. Itna funny kaun ho sakta hai.???!





Today's fortune: A thrilling time is in your immediate future

yupp. thats what it is now, i guess. today is a sunday. and i am in my office. these two sentences can be used to derive a conclusion (that i am in office on a sunday!) and ask - what the duck am i doing in my office on a sunday?

and the horrible memories of the first week of our moving into our 18k apartment comes back to me. they had said - 'store water'. and we had thought they were just kidding. but even then we asked for clarifications - 'kyun sir?? paani ki problem hai kya?'. and they said it was nothing serious. and so we moved in. and water flowing through taps was not a surprise. and then we slept. and then we woke. to a new morning - 'its a new day, its a new start (Aage ka pata nahi)' playing on the backdrop. and then we found out. No water.

abe yaar. seriously. whats wrong with me. i dont feel like completing the tale now. so the crux of the matter is that we survived a whole one week without water. can you believe that?? we will see some aunty's house's fountain spilling truck load of water, hear some aunty's cooker's city(the thing that goes up to relieve pressure with the sound zhhhhhhhoooom. earlier i thot that i didnt know its angrezi name to begin with. but now i remember that i had drawn it on one of my engineering drawing class (jissmein maine fight maarke panji yaa chhakki yaa satti lagaa li thi) so i must have known its name at that point in time.) and think ki - 'vidhata yeh anyaay kyun?? abhi toh hamaari umra bhi itni nahee huyee ki hum apne paapon ka ghadaa bhar paate. log yahan favvare lagaa rahe hain. apne cars wash kar rahe hain. aur hamaare ghar mein hugaa maarne ke liye paani nahi. kyun??'

and we will reach our office at 8 sharp ( on sundays, we could afford to be late) aur sab ke sab baathroom mein. log soch rahe hain. ki kya ho raha hai?? and the feeling that you get when you do something that you usually dont do; the feeling that everyone has stopped working and looking at what you are doing, made it sure that i dont enjoy the half an hour (i know that sounds a lot of time!) inside toilet that is so truly the best half an hour of anyone's day. and dont get your mond overworked. i am only talking about the act of defecating. who else here except me also thinks that grossness is very funny?????? :|

anyway i copy pasted today fortune because testing times have returned. god help us!

Added later: My blog sucks. now, infact, it stinks.

Ab main kya bataun ki kitna khush hun main. I have been finally tagged after a long time. i had initially, at very early stage of my blogging life, resolved that i wont take up any tags. and it was kool. And then i waited for someone to tag me. as i said, i had resolved, and i was ready to play the tough cruel guy in ensuring that i wont complete the task even if people cried, immolated or died. (somebody please stop these voices up in my head. they say that now i am trying to hard to sound funny. you have got a tag to do, be humble and thankful, and just do it. SHHHHHHHHHut up!)

ok. so gazal mam has tagged me to 'write down 10 things that i hate about the opposite sex.' well, i dont really think that i hate someone or somebody, (which kind of shows my ignorance i believe, as not hating anybody at all , and mostly being indifferent, shows the lack of being opinionated) being diplomatic, i wud say that here are 10 things that i particularly dont like about gals:

1) Ajanabi gals giggling in front of ajanabi shy guys. Mat hanso yaar. Some colleagues are laughing over coffee, the dabee huyee hansi, where they want to make sure that i dont get the slightest idea that they are laughing (how kind!) and i am thinking ki kahin meri zip toh nahi khuli rah gayee. Only if we cud disappear in thin air, things cud be handled in far more effective ways.

2) Dont smile. Seriously, or at least be discreet. I was reading this novel by Wodehouse, where he describes the moment when apna hero falls in love with apni heroine. they both are traveling together in a train. and then they reach to their destination the next day, very early in the morning. the hero has had a really bad time, because the girl has been rude to him all this while. and then the hero goes to see around if anybody has come to pick them up. and in the mean time the girl thinks. she is not feeling well because she has been rude to him. and she decides to make some allowance and SMILES as she sees him coming back. and that was the moment when our confused hero realises that he has fallen in love.seriously yaar,(now its me directly talking to young, haaatt, careless gals), you guys have no idea what a smile can do to young, single, desperate guys. its a deadly weapon. and as they say, with power comes the responsibility. Anyway, the novel is 'Something Fresh' and you have got to read it. Best novel ever written.

3) Umm. Well women do seem complicated. Most of the time, while we try to impress them, obviously by speaking what they want to hear from us, we find that they find us fake. And its not only that. They will push us until we accept that we were indeed faking. Uhh. well, trying hard is not required. but let us just respect those who indeed try hard.

4) Okk. i have run out of points now. speaking of which i should just remind you all that i sud be the last person to be talking about females. i can count the total number of female contacts i have had till now on my finger tips. Seriously, I cant even get another point now. Okk heres one. Gals itni muggai mat karo yaar. Speaking of which I sud mention the DR ONE (bole toh department rank one)of our batch. She was originally from Metallurgical engineering and got a ‘branch change’ in second year and so she got into chemical engineering. The day this was announced one of my hostelites, who was also my dost ( as I called everyone else dost, and everyone else called me dost!) and was in meta and was also a big muggu told me with a pleasant smile(cos she was leaving his department) ki ‘beta, is duniya mein chahe koi kitna bhi mug le, usse jyada nahi mug sakta. Haha’ and I replied, ‘ ki hum kya farak padega, apan toh chhakki wale hain, aur chhakki wale rahenge. DRs ko honi chahiye fight life mein. Haha!’ toh ladkiyon.. ladko ko ek chance do. Itna mat muggo yaar. Please. Main aapke haath kaan paav jodta hun. Mat muggo itna.

5) ab yeh last point hone wala hai. Isse jyada toh nahi ho paayega. Bachchon aur unke uncles ko aaram se ‘ogling’ karne doh yaar. Wapas mud ke mat dekho. I remember one time, during one of the ppts (pre placement talk that is) one of my friends was staring at one of the girls (uske chehre pe woh tezzz tha.. you know. Dekhne se hee pata chal raha tha ki banda aaj finally khus hai.) par nahin. Ladki peeche mud ke dekhi. Aur apne dost ki literally fatt gayi. Mat karo yaar aisha. We all are a sad bunch of guys. Dekhne doh hamein. Please.

Okk. now I have got a millions options and selecting just five is difficult. I love difficulties. I will select just two. Mishti. And Crimemaster. Do it whenever you guys feel like doing it.

Chalo main ghar chala ab. Roadies miss ho gayaa yaar.

Abhinav Jain bhagwaan hai. the kind of comments he gets. bhagwaan. kaise kar lete ho aap yeh?? seriously yaar. kaise??? many things are indeed admirable about him. first one being ki logo ne uski alag alag tarike se lene ki kosis ki but he never banned anonymous comments. i wish i was in such positions where random people will post mean comments on my blog. and second thing that i believe he can see beyond most people. ab i amnot sure what i mean by that. i see at the kind of comments he gets, full of advice with all that motherly sisterly brotherly affection. aur i think that he doesnt need any advise. he knows what he has got to do. one such comment says ki he might be the next chetan bhagat. aur i say, 'yeh chetan bhagat kaun hai be?' seriously. that man is nothing if you compare him with apna abhi. i did not get to read his five point someone in first year because some other ass got it issued from our hostel library and i had felt like putting the library into fire. and i think about that time now and the belief that i have always been this stupid gets stronger.

anyway. he gets the comment because people care for him. nobody cares for me. maa. i am so jealous.

anyway, if you have just started visiting his blog and believe that he is very gud at blogging, go check his archives of times when he used to be at IIM C(okk i earlier thot it sud be IIM K). He was exceptional. He was mind boggling. The kind that i used to write when nobody was thr to appreciate them. seriously yaar. mere archives mein bhi kuch anmol ratan ke jaise post pade huye hain. i dont really expect you to go thru the trouble of going thru each of them (cos even that time i used to write shitty shit once in a while!) so i am thinking about just reposting them. what say you guys! i know you cant wait!

Chuckie returns to a table where Will, Morgan and Billy have made themselves comfortable. He [Chuckie] spots two ATTRACTIVE YOUNG HARVARD WOMEN sitting together at the end of the bar.

Chuckie struts his way toward the women and pulls up a chair.
He flashes a smile and tries to submerge his thick Boston accent.

CHUCKIE: Hey, how's it goin'?
LYDIA: Fine.
CHUCKIE: So, you ladies ah, go to school here?
CHUCKIE: Yeah, cause I think I had a class with you.

At this point, several interested parties materialize. Morgan Billy and Will try, as inconspicuously as possible, to situate themselves within listening distance. A rather large student in a HARVARD LACROSSE sweatshirt, CLARK (22) notices Chuckie.
He [Clark] walks over to Skylar and Lydia, nobly hovering over them as protector. This gets Will, Morgan, and Billy's attention.

SKYLAR:What class?
CHUCKIE: Ah, history I think.
CHUCKIE: Yah, it's not a bad school...

At this point, Clark can't resist and steps in.

CLARK: What class did you say that was?
CHUCKIE: History.
CLARK: How'd you like that course?
CHUCKIE: Good, it was all right.
CLARK: History? Just "history?" It must have been a survey course then.

Chuckie nods. Clark notices Chuckie's clothes. Will and Bill exchange a look and move subtly closer.

CLARK: Pretty broad. "History of the World?"
CHUCKIE: Hey, come on pal we're in classes all day. That's one thing about Harvard never seizes to amaze me, everybody's talkin' about school all the time.
CLARK: Hey, I'm the last guy to want to talk about school at the bar. But as long as you're here I want to "seize" the opportunity to ask you a question.
Billy shifts his beer into his left hand. Will and Morgan see this. Morgan rolls his eyes as if to say "not again..."

CLARK: Oh, I'm sure you covered it in your history class.
Clark looks to see if the girls are impressed. They are not.

When Clark looks back to Chuckie, Skylar turns to Lydia and rolls her [own] eyes. They laugh. Will sees this and smiles.

CHUCKIE: To tell you the truth, I wasn't there much. The class was rather elementary.
CLARK: Elementary? Oh, I don't doubt it was. I remember the class, it was just between recess and lunch.

Will and Billy come forward, stand behind Chuckie.

CHUCKIE: All right, are we gonna have a problem?
CLARK: There's no problem. I was just hoping you could give me some insight into the evolution of the market economy in the early colonies. My contention is that prior to the Revolutionary War the economic modalities especially of the southern colonies could most aptly be characterized as agrarian precapitalist and...

Will, who at this point has migrated to Chuckie's side and is completely fed-up, includes himself in the conversation.

WILL: Of course that's your contention. You're a first year grad student. You just finished some Marxian historian, Pete Garrison prob'ly, and so naturally that's what you believe until next month when you get to James Lemon and get convinced that Virginia and Pennsylvania were strongly entrepreneurial and capitalist back in 1740. That'll last until sometime in your second year, then you'll be in here regurgitating Gordon Wood about the Pre-revolutionary utopia and the capital-forming effects of military mobilization.
CLARK(taken aback): Well, as a matter of fact, I won't, because Wood drastically underestimates the impact of..
WILL: "Wood drastically underestimates the impact of social distinctions predicated upon wealth, especially inherited wealth..." You got that from "Work in Essex County," Page 421, right? Do you have any thoughts of your own on the subject or were you just gonna plagiarize the whole book for me?

Clark is stunned.

WILL: Look, don't try to pass yourself off as some kind of an intellect at the expense of my friend just to impress these girls.

Clark is lost now, searching for a graceful exit, any exit.

WILL: The sad thing is, in about 50 years you might start doin' some thinkin' on your own and by then you'll realize there are only two certainties in life.
CLARK: Yeah? What're those?
WILL: One, don't do that. Two -- you dropped a hundred and fifty grand on an education you coulda' picked up for a dollar fifty in late charges at the Public Library.

Will catches Skylar's eye.

CLARK: But I will have a degree, and you'll be serving my kids fries at a drive through on our way to a skiing trip.
WILL(smiles): Maybe. But at least I won't be a prick. And if you got a problem with that, I guess we can step outside and deal with it that way.

While Will is substantially smaller than Clark, he [Clark] not to take Will up on his [Will's] offer.

WILL: If you change your mind, I'll be over by the bar.

He turns and walks away. Chuckie follows, throwing Clark a look.

Morgan turns to a nearby girl.

MORGAN: My boy's wicked smart.


Will sits with Morgan at the bar watching with some amusement as Chuckie and Billy play bar basketball game where the players shoot miniature balls at a small basket. In the B.G. occasionally we hear Chuckie shouting "Larry!", when he scores.

Skylar emerges from the crowd and approaches Will.

SKYLAR: You suck.
WILL: What?
SKYLAR: I've been sitting over there for forty-five minutes waiting for you to come talk to me. But I'm just tired now and I have to go home and I wasn't going to keep sitting there waiting for you.
WILL: I'm Will.
SKYLAR: Skylar. And by the way. That guy over there is a real dick and I just wanted you to know he didn't come with us.
WILL: I kind of got that impression.
SKYLAR: Well, look, I have to go. Gotta' get up early and waste some more money on my overpriced education.
WILL: I didn't mean you. Listen, maybe...
SKYLAR: Here's my number.

Skylar produces a folded piece of paper and offers it to Will.

SKYLAR: Maybe we could go out for coffee sometime?
WILL: Great, or maybe we could go somewhere and just eat a bunch of caramels.
WILL: When you think about it, it's just as arbitrary as drinking coffee.
SKYLAR(laughs): Okay, sounds good.

She turns.

WILL: Five minutes.
WILL: I was trying to be smooth. (indicates clock) But at twelve-fifteen I was gonna come over there and talk to you.
SKYLAR: See, it's my life story. Five minutes and I would have got to hear your best pick-up line.
WILL: The caramel thing is my pick-up line.
SKYLAR: Glad I came over.

ok, in case you did not notice, last post was not completely complete and i had to abandon it just wen i was about to write its climax. earlier it sounded like a very sound idea- to divide the post in two part so as to keep my avid readers waiting and contemplating and hence giving the post its rightful platform- but now seeing the response, i am not very curious about completely completing the post. but i still will. i remember the kind of huge response that i had got for my original stories. india mein talent ki koi ijjat nahi hai. anyway, to start those kind of stories again is stil one of the possibilities and in fact, i am going to use that as a weapon the day i decide to shoo away all my readers (including the silent admirers that i believe must be in thousands in number) to regenerate myself or in more sophisticated terms, upgrade myself. 'myself' has never been my favorite term and i would scrap it off my dictionary anyday. talking of dictionary, i was indulged in my favourite activity-that of checking the orkut profiles of my friends and random people- wen i got bored and decided to write this crappy post; and i read the quote "Dictionary is the only place where death comes before life, success before work, but the best part is friends come before relatives." Well it would have been a lot better if it was truncated right after 'work' but still it was new to me and so i liked it.

whatelse? okk, i sud finish my previous post. so i was talking about my studdness. so in my urge to prove my studness, i will tell the girl that what i think about her and the way she thinks in whole truth. And it will irritate her and my chance to get the girl will decrease exponentially. now lets take B. He thinks that he is studd too. And in predicting the girl he thinks that he is as good as i think i am. but here is where the similarities end. the next plan of action is of utmost important. and he might be as good at heart as i think i am, he will play his part to ensure his victory. okk. everything i wrote above was not really required and the one sentence which wud have done the trick was 'He will try to manipulate the girl and make sure that the girl is crazy about him in exactly 10 days.'

And the original plan was to write some more crap and convince myself as well as you to believe that i am the real studd. the crap would be something like if the girl was easily manipulated then she was not the one worth investing so much efforts in. but then it doesnt sound right coming from a guy who takes pride in narrating his acts of stupidity.

here is a pic to end this disappointing post.

while the credit for this 'fulaa hua chapati' sud go to the hands holding the 'chimta', i take pride in the fact ki yeh roti maine bela hai.

So we went to AjantHa hotel this afternoon to have our lunch. And going to AjantHa or Adigas to have ones lunch is never a very exciting proposition anyday. But it was a very fortunate day indeed. On our way to the hotel we saw a VERY hot aunty in green sari. She was the difining example of the word ‘Extreme Maal’ coined by me. Now calling aunty to such a hot woman would be insulting to many but using ‘aunty’ here is my way of showing her that I mean no disrespect. Crap. I think aunty word itself is very hott.


SO I have been shifted to a new place. And let us just say that my desk is no longer an ideal place to access blogger. Sad. I know. But you know what the sadder part of the whole story is?? Pretending that you are actually working while you type a post on outlook.


Whats next? Believe me there is nothing as interesting as watching a query run for 1 hour. I am sure by the time I am done writing this post, it will still be running. So I had a profound thought the other day. It was about studness. I had almost deciphered the differentiating factor between studs and non-studs. And as Pondy (the much talked about pondy was here with me on this weekend) told me how desperate I am to be always talking about girls, I would illustrate my theory by giving an example where the criterion of evaluating studness is getting a girl. So lets assume I am a stud. Ok. Rephrased. I think I am a stud. I believe that gals are intelligent (1). And the way to impress a girl is being utterly honest and telling right at her face that what you think she is thinking (2). As I said I am stud, and hence I have logic behind each of my assumptions. Historical data about the girl I want to impress will tell me that she is intelligent. If the case is other wise, I wont even dream of impressing that girl as only an intelligent girl can value me for the studdness that I have, and not for my impressive personality, my six figure salary, my extremely refined sense of humor, my exquisite table manners, my heroic endeavors where I saved her from a group of goons and my biceps, triceps, quadraceps, hexaceps. | thak gaya yaar|


SO now that I have justified my assumptions as much as the assumptions taken into Generaal theory of relativity, I will go forward to explaining the most probable outcome of this stand. First she will be impressed. For sure. But soon she will be annoyed.


Okk I gotta go.  

8th Feb: Propose Day

9th Feb: Chocolate Day

10th Fed: Teddy Day

11th Fed: Promise Day

12th Feb: Hug Day

!3th Feb: Kiss Day

14th Feb: Valentine’s Day

Enjoy Valentine's Week.

This was an sms that I got from one of my friends. No point for guessing that he was a ‘boy’friend. They talk about equality for women. When are they going to message such messages to their dear friends like me?

Anyway. Back to the point. I thot it very creative of my friend to have come up with such an exhaustive list. I wud have had hug day a day later than the kiss day though. Anyway, back to the point. And the point is, that one of my friends from my huge list of ‘boy’friends also knew about the valentine week and on Kiss Day he smsed ‘Today is the kiss day. Am I going to get one from you?’ to one of his friend from his very short list of ‘girl’friends. And while he knew that no response will ever come he waited. He waited. Because he knew smsing was just a part of setting up the mood and he didn’t want the decent girl - that he believed her to be – to be answering to such idiotic smses. So he called her. And he heard the laugh that had made her heart stop beating for almost always. Anyway, he was about to explain her that it was no joke – the content of the sms that is – but he ran out of balance and I am still wondering what the result of his efforts has been.

Well the story doesn’t end here. It doesn’t even start here. It starts from a list. A list of girls that have ever had the misfortune of knowing him. And it was a sorted list. With the girl, having highest probability of accepting his proposal (I know it sounds too professional!) - which by the way was little less than 1 in a million or billion – at the very top of the list. Now this friend is very dear to me. And so I have taken the liberty of making fun of him. So as any sound forecasting model would have predicted his proposals were not met with responses that he expected. But he hasn’t given up. And while we talked last night on phone on this great human endeavor he even tried to convince me of using this great idea of proposing each and every girl that I have known in this or previous 10 births. The idea was that if girl acknowledges your eternal love for her in this and 10 previous birth of yours, you have succeeded otherwise just say that you just pulled a prank. Well, I said I will use this great idea on April 1st.

For the time being I think I should just scrap some random girl on Orkut that I am a very desperate guy who has never had any valentine for last 22 years and if they want to do a good deed on February the 14th they could just scrap 'I love you' in my scrapbook.

Great! Happy Valentine’s Day!