the greatest blog ever

So I have got another 10 minutes. The reputation of my creativity is at stake. This is gonna be a bloody thought-provoking, making-a-difference-to-this-filthy-world kinda post.

So I have been thinking. As I look at the blogs that I have posted, I find them incredibly funny. If you had asked me 1 year before I wud have said that writing ‘whatever comes to mind’ in a ‘funny’ way is my biggest strength. ‘Diverge wherever you can, and let the creativity flow freely without any bounds’ was my motto. But now I think that writing in organized way must be what I should concentrate on.

What the crap! So this was actually an illustration. Of the fact that it’s just not possible for me to right without ‘step’ changes.

This is again going to be just another crappy post. UNLESS, I make it even crappier. See, you wud find this jokes ‘not amusing’???

So here is one incentive for quitting smoking. If you don’t want to pay higher premiums on your life insurance, you gotta quit smoking. But then if you don’t smoke, do you really need a life insurance? Catch-22??! Great book, as they say it is. I have just started reading it and some of the conversations are really funny.

And the great thing about this book is that it tells us that … aah crap!!

We just need to see things for what they are, and not what societies tell.

Posted in: on Wednesday, August 29, 2007 at at 9:20 PM 3 comments  

So I am actually writing this on a word pad. Not that I want to make my blog less attractive by not including enuf of spelling mistakes. It’s just that I want to project the image that I am working preparing some document.

So I had actually resolved into not posting any further post till I get a comment on my previous blog, but then people should make reasonable resolutions. SO here I am back. With a bang.

So what’s next?

So this is like the fourth time I have started a paragraph by a ‘So’.

So ne ka mann kar raha hai yaar.

SO jaaao.

Posted in: on at at 4:48 PM 0 comments  

main aapke(aapke yaa apne?? who cares!) haath jodta hun, pair padta hun. Agar aap galti se bhi is page pe aaye hain toh, piliz ek comment maar doh, maai-baap.

I wud have written same thing in angrezi too, in case any firangi walks into this page, but then the probability of even a single soul getting into this page is so less that I dont want to waste my resources on something that is even rarer than seeing some UFO or UOF or whatever it is. Dont tell me that I sud try commenting on my own posts because i already have; and believe me its not at all funny.

Talking on firangis, I have seen a sapna. That someday I will finally marry a firangi. You ask how?? ofcourse in no times I wud be fired from my current job and then i will get to do the job of my dreams which is driving an autorikshaw by the way. And one day while I am dreaming abt meeting an angrez kudi outside the chhatrapati shivaji terminus (or is it an international airport), I wud get to meet the girl with blonde hairs(hair??? wgac i.e. who gives a crap!).

Salaame-ishq. kya movie thi yaar. I am so lucky to have seen it in my one lifetime. seen? completed?? hardly matters. again, wgac.

so thr are some things that sud be definitely written about. so i had been to IIT(abe how do we increase it's font size. just bolding is not enuf, dude!) for my convocation and mr laxmi nivas mittal was the chief guest. aah, this will also be my first time wen i wud board my first DHAkkan flight. But not without any interruptions. so what are the chances that your first flight gets cancelled. yaa, if you are boarding on an Air Deccan flight the chances cud be as high as 100% depending on the kind of spoon that you had in your mouth wen you landed on this duniya. why is this not AT All funny??? Pathetic. No more divergences now on. i promise.

haan so i had been rescheduled for a 4 am flight next morning and obvioussly i cudnt get the enuf dose of that heavenly drug that is called sleep. gaaawd, i sud stop reading wodehouse. anyway, bak to convocation haal. so i dozed away gloriously to sleep and listen to his 'inspirational' speech only that time wen he chose to call eye eye tea as double eye tea. and that was okay with me. but then he switched bak to eye eye tea again. what is this mr mittal??! i know i like laughing but you are disturbing me frm my sleep. anyway if anyone is interested then 'perseverance' and 'i -dont-remember-something' are the two important factors that have helped him build arcelor-mittal.

AAh wat else? cudnt see the remaining episodes on scrubs season six. met the same old disturbingly-close friends. yaa, you can cry now.

Posted in: on Thursday, August 23, 2007 at at 11:15 PM 3 comments  

Bachna aiye hasino, lo main aa gaya!

okk! that was quite an impressive start. of course, given the fact that no one will never read any of this crap. people will never know that an ingenuous writer used to write here. ek din main marr jaaunga. ek din tum bhi mar jaaoge. we will play luka-chipi in narak. but one thing is sure ki we will save a lot on gas in narak. of course, narak is full of 'narak kee agni' and we wudnt need gas cylinders to cook our food.

so we have a great man in our ceo. its inspirational to hear him talk. he married the girl he fell in love with wen he was 22. did his mba from university of chicago.worked in price water houce coopers. then join booze allen. and was doing pretty fine ther when one day he left his 200 thousand dollars paying job to start a firm of his own. he could well be seen as a young steve jobs or rather young narayan murthy. okk, this post is not abt the mahanata of this man, as i wud never be upto the task. but few things that he said and the things that i want to remember as i grow old and become more stupid include quotes like, "two things are very important if you want to do something big- ignorance and arrogance."

and thats wher i feel that my life comes close to the definition of pathetic. I like listening to the 'gyan' as he says it but i never see myself doing anything. i often feel that i ll be lost in all this nonsensical waste of time and one day i ll be dead. dying is not that bad though.

anyway, i am listening to a beautiful song right now.

hai aaj naye armaano se
aabaad mere dil ki nagari,
barson se khiza ka mausam tha,
viraan badi duniya thi meri.

haathon mein tera aanachal
aaya ki baahaar aayi.
diwana hua baadal.

met the college friends during convocation. and it was heart breaking to come back here. life sux, man!

Posted in: on Monday, August 13, 2007 at at 10:59 PM 0 comments  

So, where do I begin?! I am not very excited about writing this blog. I am not a Shahrukh khan aur Abhinav jain ki Hazaar log will wait breathlessly to read my blog. But still I am writing for the sake of it. Like every blogger I have also come across many instances all this time when I was off-blogging when I thot that something interesting happened which I could have blogged about. Now I dont want to talk about them.

So what's next?? Absolutely nothing. why are you wasting your time reading this. Rather GO and watch the machchhar suck out blood from your veins. you are still reading??? If you are thinking that it's a sort of test, like the one that bhagwaan conducts every two months to test the bhakti of His favourite bhaktan, then you are wrong. there is no chance of you surviving this blog. Just go away. mere 'jaise logo ko net access karne ko kaise mil jata hai?' this is the next big thing thats gonna happen in this world. yaa people will win Nobel prizes, proposing hypotheses to formulate an answer of this multi-million dollar question. in case you have forgotten the question was - 'how do people like me get free access to net?'. Or in fact 'How do people like me even get hired?'.

Time for the boogie woogie joke of the day.

bachchon ko eskool sabse achchhha kab lagta hai?
jab woh band hota hai.

=))

+++++++_+++++=====))))))))))))

main apne jokes pe hans hans ke marr jaaunga yaar. satish, bus, bus kar de yaar. 'main bus nahi car karunga'. HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHA

Ok. this is not satish but his villainous alter ego thts typing this.

aah. i have finally survived my post.

Posted in: on Tuesday, July 31, 2007 at at 10:37 PM 1 comments  

SO yesterday we had our department valedictory function. Nothing special about it but then it made me feel the fact that in few days I will be gone from this place. Now that I look back I dont know how to react. 'Did I hate this place?' I often wonder. Well everything is done now and all I can do is get little sentimental.

Anyway I am not here blogging because I felt sudden urge to get senti and show people my sensitive side, but because tomorrow could well be the most important day of my academic life or life in general. We have out BTP(b tech project) presentations tomorrow morning and I havent even read my report fully. If I get through all these and be alive, then that would be the single most important achievemment of my entire academic life. So, this is what I love to do the most when I have some exam or something important the next day: I blog. It definitely makes you feel good about yourself. The assurance that you can reflect on things is great, but the real reason for happyness I think, is that it makes you feel like the hero of this film called life.

What else?! I can write many things here. About how I wasted my time, everytime in the old same way. OR the resolutions that made me frustrated. OR the eventual evolution to 'No Resolution Anymore'. I remember there were times when I felt sick after waking up on Monday mornings. The reason: I had wasted all my time doing nothing. Saturday was spent in celebration of start of the weekend and Sunday got wasted thinking and regretting that Saturday was over. More on it later.

Posted in: on Sunday, April 29, 2007 at at 7:48 PM 6 comments  

Life is so screwed right now, I thought I would write a post. Most creative work of art is created by the total screwed ones, or so they say. So what is the reason of this absolute misery, I ponder. And I really see no specific, or at least 'reasonable' reason. Some of us just fall in love with misery. Some of the lucky ones I meant. Anyway, I am out of the words now. And now I know for sure that it takes more than a screwed up life to be artistic.

Anyway, I will write something more, you know..,for the heck of it. So this friend of mine, had a childhood love interest. Now he is a real 'sarif' kind, so he had it all planned out. He will get a decent job and eventually ask her to marry him. Seriously, I think there is something utterly romantic about it, right? I mean we are Indians, and while we might like to think that 'I love you' should be the most magical words; when in fact, I think, it's not. Ok, what I think doesn't really matter. On the similar lines, one of my other friends was asked by his love interest; who btw, did not know that she is his love interest, that how he is going to tell the love of his life that he loves him. He answered that he would ask her to marry him. The best possible answer I guess. Again, I dont always guess the right things.

So back to the first story. Now, my friend, here would definitely not like the idea of his love life being discussed on a public forum. Ok, no body reads my blog right now, but someday, this blog of mine, could win the best blog award, in popular awards category. So what ever, I write must be written with utmost care. Or, so I would like to believe. So what do I do next? The very simple idea. I should fictionalize his story, so that everyone is confused and nobody could ever make out the 'sir aur punchh' of the estory. Now, I would like to think that fictionalization is easy, when in fact, its not. Believe me, most of this story is correct. Wait a second, I have already done the job here, I guess. I have lost my credibility. Exactly what I wanted. And it had one other advantage too. My post has become little bigger, fatter. Fantastic.

I am getting this feeling that this could be the best blog written by me till now. Okk, that was a lie. I could only go dipper into the abyss. Okk, this is the first time I have used this word in my entire life; 'abyss' I mean, so do tell me if it is wrongly used. Forget it, I wont give your ideas enough heed anyway. So where was I?
In the abyss. So this friend of mine. He was simply awesome. I dont know why I wrote that. He was just another simple and confused guy. He would never kiss a girl even on yahoo messenger. He would run to kitchen if any girl started to flirt with him, again on yahoo messenger. But boy, he is studd. I guess the only one who exceeds me in 'talking skills' when it comes to,yeah right, yahoo messenger. Yahoo Messenger, single most important invention for MANkind.

Anyway, so where was I, again? So estory mein ek 'crisis' wali situation aur phir climax kaa hona zaroori hai. Believe me apni estori mein bhi crisis hai. So as we come to know after some time that the girl already has a boyfriend. Now the Indian girl just doesnt have a boyfriend because she feels that she wud be an outcast if she doesnt have any. Usne bhi apni saadi, aur hone wale bachcho ke sapne dekhne start kar diye hain.

So what possibly can the 'hero' do now? Anyway, the hero in our estory decides to do absolutely nothing. He is not among the ones who take matter in their own hand. Because if he did, no one else will have any fair chance. Ok. Dont take anything written here for the truth. So I made him watch 'Friends 1x11-The one with Mrs Bing'. Lovely sitcom, I tell you. This episode is really relevant. Full of my new found belief in Mrs Bing I told him that once he watched this episode, all insecurity and confusion will fade away. So if you havent watched this episode yet, you must. And if you have watched it already, then you sud go rewatch it.So Rachel is dating this Italian guy 'Paolo' and Ross is madly in love with Rachel. So they all are somewhere celebrating the record-breaking sales of Mrs Bing's latest book which(the books) invariably deal with the sexual part of human life. So Rachel and Paolo are doing all kinds of stuffs and Ross feels like a helpless idiot. So he drinks. There's this really funny scene where Ross comes out of a bathroom, and Mrs Bing (Chandler's mom) asks if he's okay. He says 'yes', but then a lady comes out of the same bathroom and you must see the expression on Ross' face. Priceless. However, the peak point of this episode is the conversation that follows after this incident. I'll copy paste it.

Mrs. Bing: She's supposed to be with you.

Ross: You're good.

Mrs. Bing: Oh, Ross, listen to me. I have sold a hundred million copies of my books, and y'know why?

Ross: The girl on the cover with her nipples showing?

Mrs. Bing: No. Because I know how to write men that women fall in love with. Believe me, I cannot sell a Paolo. People will not turn three hundred twenty-five pages for a Paolo. C'mon, the guy's a secondary character, a, y'know, complication you eventually kill off.

Ross: When?

Mrs. Bing: He's not a hero. ...You know who our hero is.

Ross: The guy on the cover with his nipples showing?

Mrs. Bing: No, it's you!

'You are leading lady of this film, but you have been acting like the heroine's best friend.'

Posted in: on Friday, April 27, 2007 at at 7:46 PM 1 comments  

Indira Manudhane Best Undergraduate Teacher Award

(a)There is one award in this category, of Rs.70,000/-.

(b)The award will be decided primarily through voting by the students. The voting will be carried out on 26th April 2007 at 12:30pm immediately after the end semester exam of Chemical Processes (CL442) course.

(c)Students bearing registration nos.03xxxxxx (4th year B.Tech. and Dual degree students) will vote. These students will be required to stay back after they have handed in their answer paper in the examination. They will be served with two ballot papers against their signature, one for selecting the best teacher and the other for selecting the student excellence awardees.

(d)Voting is compulsory. Students will be required to sign against their names in a separate sheet for having voted. Grades of students not voting will be withheld.

(e)The ballot paper would contain a list of ‘eligible’ teachers (i.e., Professors who have taught the 4th year batch one or more core CL courses and have not been recipients of this award in the last three years), with the courses taught by her/him shown against her/his name. Each student selects the BEST TEACHER in her/his opinion by placing tick marks against the names.

(f)The selections will be by secret ballot, i.e., the students do not sign in the ballot papers. Signed ballot papers will not be counted.

(g)Each student places STRICTLY NOT MORE THAN ONE tick mark in the ballot paper. Ballot papers with more than one tick mark will not be considered.

(h)To be eligible for the award, a faculty member HAS TO GET MORE THAN ONE THIRD OF THE VOTES CAST.

(i)Subject to the above condition, the faculty members polling the highest number of votes will be declared the awardee.

(j)No award will be given if the votes polled are less than a third of the votes cast.

Posted in: on Monday, April 23, 2007 at at 9:29 PM 0 comments  

Once I read in Bombay Times this article written by this not so famous model and host Ruby Bhatia where she discussed his ideas about happiness. I was really impressed. I actually cut out the article, which I think is a very girly act. Anyway, she said that happiness is not doing the things that make you instantly happy but doing things that you think are right. She also said that one must be ready to accept the consequences of their acts. well, that I had heard before, but still that coming out of her mouth sounded different. I just hope that she had written the article herself.

So what's the big deal? There is no big deal. It's just that we do many things that we think make us happy, and they do, for about 10 minutes; but they spoil the mood for rest of the day. I often dream of the ideal life, and that indeed is one where I meet all my deadlines on time, and enjoyin the rest of day without the feeling of being an idiot who will never be able to put the pieces together. Close to nature, of course.

Posted in: on Friday, April 20, 2007 at at 6:54 PM 2 comments  

Today's fortune:
Your luck has been completely changed today.

This is not the first time my luck has been changed. I had got exactly the same message the day I had got my job. Boy, was I happy! That was also the day I started believing in everything that Orkut Maharaj said.

So today I got this message again. I gave my 'Stochastic Processes' endsem exam today, and shitted all over the paper. To make things more interesting I got 12/35 in midsem. Two assignment were to be submitted too. First one, we(group assignment) did submit, and thought that we got 30/60, when in real our Prof did not receive the hard copy of it, and so she has given us all zero. Second one, we just did not care enough to submit.

So if I were to believe my fortune today, I am going to get an FR in this course, which will mean that I will have to stay here one more year. My college!! Dont I just love it?!

Nothing to worry though. I have heard that same thing can happen twice by fluke, but then thing happened twice already, has to happen the third time for sure. I am the master of my luck. I will change it some other day.

Posted in: on at at 1:43 PM 0 comments  

1) Jayawardane got out. He is most admirable captain I can think of. Simplicity personified.

2)Richard Gere kissed Shilpa. People are burning their effigies. I am proud of my country.

3)Just tried listening remix of zara-zara. These people should get their balls blasted.

4)This blog will never tell my true story. I will always try to look kool and people will always think that I am pathetic.

5)Now I know for sure that my favourite course in all my undergrad life was environmental sciences.

6)I was glad to realise that I feel sad thinking that my country is full of hypocritic morons. I guess I will soon find my passion too.

7)This writing style is not original. But I like it so far.

8)I am god. Yes, I lie sometimes. Just for fun.

Posted in: on Monday, April 16, 2007 at at 10:01 PM 2 comments  

Today is the first day of rest of my life.

Posted in: on Sunday, April 15, 2007 at at 9:43 AM 0 comments  

bole toh valedictory function. So I have been waiting eagerly, for this moment. And then it happened. And I thought I would be sentimental, but I was not. I still dont feel anything sad in particular. Of course, I am not working at all for my B tech project which is to be submitted on 16th, which accidently also happens to be the day my endsem exams start. So on 12th April, 2007 we had our valedictory function in our hostel. We have been attending hell lot of them lately, as valfis are organised in each of the 13 hostel that we have. In morning on 12th we had the last lecture of this course going by the name 'Chemical Processes II'. Nice name, I know. Anyway, so the prof, who happens to be a 'God' prof, talked about the 'soda ash' process(sodium carbonate, washin soda, NO??), and told us that how it is one of the oldest processes in chemical enginnering. So he cracked the joke that we are studying the oldest process on the last day of our course. We laughed. Then it was 9:30. He said, 'that's it.'. We expected something more. More sentimental I guess. Something like, 'I had a great time teaching you guys!'. Some tears in eyes would have been jus fine. So he wished us 'Best of luck for exams' and we were out of the room the next moment. That was the time when one of my friends said that he couldnt believe that we all had just attended the last lecture of our undergrad life. I told him that we had another lecture of the course, 'Stochastic Processes' the next day. He said he would like to end this journey on a rather memorable moment, right now, after attending prof Mahajani's lecture. Anyway, I remembered that we had our valfi the same evening, so it was near impossible to attend lectures the next day as the function dragged itself to the whole night ending around 6-7 the next morning. So this was indeed the last lecture that we had here.

Ok! Where was I? So what are the main features of Valfis? Supposedly good food. But we had been eating the food served by the same caterer in each of the hostels, and the special food no longer tasted special. I didnt feel like eating anything but I ate anyway. One important feature of valfi is 'Profile Reading' where the dear friends of ours write down the historical event of our life. Anyway, it is rather used as an oppurtunity to do the bashing. Gals, Orkut, Yahoo, Daaru and the other unmentionable things (Believe me, I am being very discreet.) are all you will get in the profiles. The more popular guy you are, the more bashing you should expect. Well, now I know that I am not that popular guy. Another criterion being the presence of female crowd. I had no one of them around me. One of my friends had this great idea of actually hiring some of them, wearing some supe sexy dresses, who would sit right around him, and the sole job of whom would be to smile randomly and bring their heavily lipsticked lips close to his ears occasionaly and pretend talking something very important. Well, anyway, after reading the profile, they will ask you all kind of questions. 'Are you a virgin?', 'Describe your first sexual experience?' 'Rank your female batchmates in order of their maalness.' are some of the frequently asked questions. Well, nothing of this sort was asked from me. How can they be so sure that I am still as 'pavitra' as Ganga mineral water?! They asked me to sing a britney spear's song. I blushed and sang first two lines of 'hit me baby one more time'. Then generaal things related to gals, yahoo and orkut.

So, after that comes the 'senti' part. And you are supposed to bring tears in the eyes of your friends. Okk, that is not correct. To expect anything from these guys, will be as big a mistake as mistaking me for superman. Little digression, once Shaan was to perform here for MI, and he was little late but his band had already arrived with this female who would accompany him in duets. So guys were impatient, and started shouting 'we want Shaan'. And this lady asks, 'Dont you want to listen to me?' And each one of them yelled even louder, 'NNNOO!'. Okk 'them' includes me too. Anyway, I had thought that at least on the night of valfi, I wud get a bit sentimental at least. No, nothing! As one of my friends rightly said in his senti, that we wud have to get out of here to miss it.

Anyway, not more than 2-3 weeks are left, and I feel nothing right now. I kind of thought that I did absolutely nothing here, but even that is not on my mind right now. May be I am plain happy that I am going to leave this place. I dont know what to write now.

Anyway, now that I remember my freshie and second year, I cant believe that I actually lasted the hectic business of the stinky schedules. I mean labs in afternoons, fully occupied slots in morning, viva preparation, assignments submission. Hell, I have got to be happy that I am out. Similar feeling I had about my school too. Each day, the same schedule, same teachers, same lectures. Cant imagine how I was able to make it through all of that. Anyway, I often cherished the great memories that I had of my school, and may be once I get out of here I will feel the same for IIT. Or may be not!

One thing that I am sure going to miss is ofcourse my friends. I really havent seen the 'real world' and I have my doubts if I would be able to find the kind of friends that I have become used to. Anyway, I know I have this thing for my old companians, and I know nothing would ever replace them.

Posted in: on Saturday, April 14, 2007 at at 10:40 AM 4 comments  

Posted in: on Tuesday, April 10, 2007 at at 7:00 PM 60 comments  

So it all started when I read a news article on rediff, about more than a year ago I suppose, discussing the kind of salaries IIM grads were expected to get that year. It had a link to this blog, of an IIM grad actually, where he compared the placement activites to Gulshan Grover, and himself to an abla nari. I clicked on it. And I had my first experience of reading a blog. Boy, was he impressive! It was a laugh riot. His blog remains the single most admired blog for many of his fans. People follow him religiously. Somehow he reminds me of Sachin Tendulaker. We (as in old, buddhay) have seen his glorious days. The way he used to creat the magic. The elegant straight drive. To be honest, we can never hate him. But we know that his days are gone, and we wouldnt be able to cherish those moments again. Boy! I am senti now. Anyway, I made the anology, because as is evident, his posts are definitely funny, but after having seen him at the best, I barely manage to pull off a smile now. And I really dont want to see him go. I hope that its just a phase in his life. And that is what I would like to think of the other blogs I visit. You can almost feel it. The loneliness. The feeling that the best is over and its all downhill now on. The glorious past. The days when they they competed to post the first comment on a new post. Everything.

For past one and a half year, I have seen it all. Yaa, I know I sound like a half-centurion, about-to-die old man, who can do nothing but talk about the past. And I really feel old sometimes. And sometimes, I feel I have grown old. Aged, that is. Anyway, this post is not about me. Well, the post is indeed about me. Blogging. I have been addicted to it for all this while. I look for the reasons. And I feel that may be it's the same old 'something, than nothing!' thing. But I just cant believe it. I dont want to believe it. I have seen the lives of people through it, I have related my life to their's. It (the reason) has got to be more deep, at least, better sounding.

Anyway, what prompted this post was another post. Actually a string of posts. I just added one of friend on Orkut and he had this link of his friend's blog (He is my friend too, Btw! And I have this strong feeling that he came to blogger to impress gals by randomly talking about IIT and the great views that he has about life in general!) He has written a post everyday. Quite regularly. And I felt that life goes on. People will blog, they will feel pathetic, they will get bored, they will leave and they will come back. Old people will leave, New people will come.

I so dont want to go to any new blogs. I want to see my 'hero' bloggers happy or sad, but not leaving. I have always had this thing with old things. I just dont find it correct to scrap old things out just because you got something new. They are not just some old things. They have witnessed a part of our lives. Bahut senti macha di yaar maine. Anyways, I feel little scared sometimes. The feeling that people who are doing just fine in this gloomy world, chulbuli basanti and the Great Sash might stop it one day. Yaa, I am a chicken heart.

The strange feeling is that even I find it a possibility. Giving up blogging, that is. Firstly I do waste a lot of time in it. But that cant be a reason. I see people leave, and I dont feel good. I have my expectations, and expectations are the cause of grief. And the funny thing is that I havent even started full time blogging yet, as in writing a post everyday. And I dont even share my url with anyone. Dont ask what's with me! It has got to be the low self steam. OR.. the stinky clothes. Dont ask.

Bahut kuch likh diya yaar. It's almost 11.

Posted in: on Monday, April 9, 2007 at at 9:42 PM 4 comments  

It's the high time that I write something so full of wisdom that people who claim to be intellegent,saram se paani paani ho jaayein. Okk, that was too rude. And also I dont really have anything funny or profound to say here.

Seriously, what should I write about? I cant help but feel pathetic as I look around for some source of inspiration. Only if my English was litle studd, I could write some extraordinary piece of fiction, as there content does not matter as long as you have been able to keep the readers glued to dictionary. Okk! That was something. A statement, quite original. Not necessarily correct, but that doesnt matter anyway.

okk! This post has got to be about something. Why are all of my posts sound so very much like each other?! Okk! I think I would have to talk about the 'love' love. Quoted because its the gurlfriend-boyfriend kind of love. Now my experience with this kind of love is zero, but then I have watched a lot of movies. And I am quite capable of coming up with some of the best lines. Or so I think! So as I have said, love gives us all a reason. And that is definitely important. A reason to live, a reason to die. Love. Nothing can justify our idiotic acts better. Okk! The discussion should be concentrated on some subjects so as to prove a point. And I am quite not sure what my point is. One thing for sure is that love is overhyped. But then people (in the movies) say that the divine goal of human life is to search for the one thing that you love. Okk! I am trying hard to sound sophisticated.

This post is full of crap. How could someone write such a post??

Jaa raha hun main chullu bhar pani mein doob marne ke liye.

Posted in: on Sunday, April 8, 2007 at at 2:48 PM 2 comments  

I know I wont be funny this time. I know, hard luck for you guys! what to do!

ANyway, I sit here writing as I have exactly ten minutes to do it. And the title is self explanatory. The reason is that now it's almost the end of my not so wonderful life here. But last few days have been good. Valfis, i.e. Valedictry functions are the reason that we have been getting good food each and every day.

Whatelse man???? I have to submit my project report in one week. I just hope that I get a bit serious about that. Just finished watching Finding Neverland. And I am just amazed how they make such powerful films. And I realise how I have stopped dreaming. About future. And I complain that I dont have any motivation. And I sometimes feel that I am not even living a life. But then I had watched Little Miss Sunshine and kind of liked the idea that 'the years that you think sucked the most, were the best days of your life'.

I sometimes wonder whether love wud have been same if there were no movies. And I am totally proud of the feeling that I know that love can be faked. Actors. They do it all the time. Now I have got to write about sex too. I think that love and sex both can act as supreme motivators. I mean a man will literally go to hell, and then come back, and you can justify these acts just by saying that he was in love. anyway, i want to leave this at an ambiguous note. As I think that that will left the readers confused. And as all know, more one speaks, more reality (insipidity, in my case) comes out in stark.

And also becus I gotta go.

Posted in: on Saturday, April 7, 2007 at at 8:02 PM 2 comments  

okk! You dont need to hold your breath. Everything is under control. So 'Fart' has become an integral part of local lingo here. Dont ask about the origin and the 'first reference' as nobody, imho, wub be able to elaborate. So how do I explain 'Fart' to you? AAh!!@#$#$%^%^! I am back to my annoyin self again. One thing that I rediscover almost every other hour is that I just can not indulge into any activity that remotely has any 'learning' value attached to it. Bloggin was fine. Fine, until I started to see it as one of the better ways of spending, sorry, wasting my time. And While right now, I think like I am writing crap, I still feel good, as I see some lines, that will one day take me to the glory. Yupp. I actually think that this blog will be a 'superhit' at some point of time, and people will look at this(these?) shitty post(s?) and say, 'Look, Poot ke paanv paalne mein hee nazar aa jaate hain.' Wow! Life! Is great.

So I was talking about the importance that this word 'Fart' has. If you made a list of important words, I assume it might just land at the second position, right after the f word. So it is like, you say that I scored 20 out of 20 in midsem exams. and I treat you with 'appy'. And then you say, 'I was kidding.'. And I start crying and say, 'Kya fart hai??!'. There are plenty of other examples. And I am here to give you each one of them. Okk! Not each one of them! Happy?!

Well, Fart might be used as an adjective as well. H8 (that's hostal 8) prepared a PAF (that is Performing Art Festival, the one single important thing here, comes close to a 'play' with voice over, but the budget is huge(Around 75k this year) making it possible for us to afford more for sets) last year and we said 'It was a major fart.'. Okk! I was to give an example where it was being used as an adjective. NO, I aint gonna apologies. So all farty things induce the same stinky effect. that comes close to defining it. And I am again bored writing about it.

SO I was planning on watching 'Seinfeld'. Well, the interest was aroused becus of the fact that they say that this is a show about 'Nothingness'. That's damn interesting, right? I want this blog to be like that. About nothingness. And that wud be a hell of a challenging job. Only if I was little more funny(or is it funnier? more funnier??? Wanna shoot me, then yourself?). and little more intelligent! Sigh!

Okk! time to show my 'considerate' side (dont you dare running away!). I have been thinking about 'ego' lately. (God my expressions need this one 'smiley', where I am looking up in the sky (may be standing on the balcony) at a bird (crow?! I always thought that was the one 'daring' bird we had got!) with a kind of astonishment, because it had just tried shitting on me(and that is wen it(crow, of course!) transformed to 'godlike' figure from 'daring' one!), but my sixth sense had helped me dodge it. So in the 'smiley', I am overall happy and cant help but give 'All Happy!' and 'You Bastard!' looks, both at the same time, to that filthy creature.Isnt life just like that? It will shit on you at the bright rainy day wen you thot your life had never been better, but you might be able to avoid it(the shit!) if you are alert and lucky, but again if you got shitted, dont worry, Surf hai na!) one hell of a statement under a bracket!

So I was talking about ego. But I am more into 'shit' part now. So you might have been a total loser, and so lose all your chances of having a girlfriend, to the guy next door. ANyway, just one thing. Oppurtunities are also like gals, buses and naukaries; ek gayee toh doosri aa jaayegi. And that is why patience is importance. And that is why you must go and see 'Pursuit of happyness'. okk! enuf of 'that is why's.

WHats next? I am pretty happy with this post. Some real gyan up there right. And the smiley part was great. okk! BAck to the real world. When I was a kid(not again!), I thot that i sud have been given at least some special power. Yaa, like shaktimaan. But I see people around this world, and more importantly people around me, and the power that they exercise on others. That is the kind of power we all strive for right? I seriously wonder why there is only one shahrukh khan? Or why do soldiers go on a war when the president orders? How do they become so important? And one thing that I think I realise is that.. aah I forgot. Time for dinner.

Posted in: on Friday, March 16, 2007 at at 7:29 PM 3 comments  

okk! I have got to write something. so I have been watching this anime for past couple of days. One thing that I have realised about myself is that I have got to be doing something in order to waste my time. Well, first it used to be refreshing Opera for every other second to check replies of the idiotic comments that I used to post. But then the people I read blogs of, are slowly maturing and hence the importance of blog in their lives has drastically come down. Anywho, I thought about going to new places (new blogs in my case) but it just doesnt feel right. Old things are good. You just cant leave them because you have got bored of them. But if we dont make way for change then nothing will evolve. Why is life always an optimization problem?

Okk, So I decided to waste less time on blog. So I started watching 'Bleach'. And man, was it breath-taking! I want to write alot about it but supposedly a lan-ban is going to be imposed from 11 pm onwards. so its a race against time. wel, forget it! I am not competing. So talking of this animation, one thing that I have realised is that people may think that you have a limit, and you will never be able to cross it. But their opinions can always be thrashed. They will not decide the boundaries for you. You can cross your limit the minute you want to. man. I am writing shit now. I sud have rather written about the awesome background score tht it has. or the babes in it. Or the concept. And the awesome way the fightings have been simulated. I am also setting my mind on watching Naruto.

Well. Basanti especial now. I hope tht you have been able to make upto this point. Just watched KWK. yaa KAuf-fee with karan. with soha and saif ali khan. Well if you did watch the episode, tell me why was ms khan being such a laff-slut? and is mr sahid kapur still alive, after saying tht if their relationship did breakup it wud be bcuz of the internal friction??

AAh! I sudnt try it. Its not my thing. you sud write about the damn soap operas. I am in desperate need of one funny post. what possibly can i write about? hopeless.

Posted in: on Monday, March 12, 2007 at at 10:04 PM 2 comments  

I have finally discovered the truth.

I want to do anything, and not feel idiotic about it.

Posted in: on Sunday, March 11, 2007 at at 7:55 AM 2 comments  

So I had been to home to celebrate Holi. I was pretty excited, as it was my first trip home after of course securing a decent job. Also, I thot that it had been really long since I had last visited my home. I remembered I had been too early to come back to IIt in summers, on 21st May to be precise, as I had to do this Practical Training (PT). So it had been like 10 months that I had been to home as I didnt visit it during winters, all thanks to placememt activities. Anyway, then I remembered tht I had been to home for Diwali but I cudnt actually recall the details, like where I had celebrated it. My sisters live in Raipur, and my parents live in a gaon named 'Dondi'(remember it as it will be remembered as the gaon where I lived for almost 18 years!). Most probably I had been to Dondi, as it feels like home. And I have never been able to sense any changes in it. Less greenery, may be.

So whats next?! So as I was going home, I looked outside my train window,(which was by the way like a desert, no hariyali whatsoever, if you know what I mean.) I saw loads of 'Palash' trees. Ya, the once, which have this 'flame' red flowers on it.Dont I just love them. They remind me of of my bachpan. I dont really know how. I suppose there was these serial which used to come on DD, when I was still a primary school going child, which showed 'palash ke phool' at the begining. Aah! Wonderful times. How I miss them! They (the flowers) make my heart etch, make me feel like I am missing out something on life. That the most beautiful thing has got to be the pain which one feels for the days gone too far in past. Wow! I was almost a poet back there!

Speaking of the things that remind me of something, 'Dhoop'(the sunshine) reminds me of my gaon. And of my childhood again. Again I dont know why. Everytime I saw it, it reminded me of the place where I belong, more so in my early days out here. Again no idea how! I remember I used to sit outside our home, mainly in winter, and cram up things. How maggu I was back then. Who wud say that I am tht same guy?!?!

Ab aaj joh main senti mode mein ghoos hee gaya hun toh I think I should continue. Ours was a small place. Three rooms to be precise. A typical government employee's quarter. And we were seven. :O . It's really hard to believe now. And we all were quite good with studies. Never went to any tuitions. Well, but then those were the days when going to tuitions was not much in fashion. Well, I am definitely going to send my kids to tuitions though. Well, I know for sure that he wud be smart, what if not as I am, still he wud be ahead of his class, so he wud get to impress the gals in his group with his intelligence. That is what I think is one of the rare advantages of tuition. Why didnt I go to tuition, bhagwaan; why??? You ask why I am crying out this loud??? Well. You sure dint go to an all boys school then.

So as I feel that I have absolutely nothing to talk about my current life, except may be how fucked up it is, I feel wud I ever be able to feel happy for a continuous period of time? I mean I have a decent job, I even got gud marks in one of the courses. But no, I just refuse to be happy. I think happiness is like these points in time, its your responsibility to stretch them and make those points as lines, as long as possible. okk! no fundaes on life no more.

So I was talking about my family. May be one day, I will write a book on them. Each of them so different from each other, still reaching to the same height of greatness.
I know it feels like there is much left unsaid.

ohh! And triple rice. becus I have missed my dinner, and I am planning on eating triple rice from canteen. dont ask me the origin of this word. But it sure tastes good.

Posted in: on Saturday, March 10, 2007 at at 9:09 PM 2 comments  

“Tell me a poem,” you demand, late at night,
And leave me tongue-tied.
“I write poems,” I protest weakly,
“I don’t tell them.”
“Performance pressure?” you tease me;
I blush at the implied intimacy.

“I know you don’t love me, not yet,”
I admit, and add, “but you will.”
“And what makes you so sure,”
You mock me, “my arrogant frog?”
“I haven’t written a poem for you yet,”
I answer, “wait till I write one.”


Copy-pasted directly from Gauravonomics without his permission.

Posted in: on Saturday, February 17, 2007 at at 7:48 PM 3 comments  

As I have discovered that I write only for the sake of writing. So here I am again. The one thing that I would perhaps never find out is that Why do I always say the same thing again and again. Well, I do make the same mistakes again and again. So few days ago 'BASF Global - The Chemical Complany' was here. And we all were given a chance to upgrade our jobs. So inspite of having a job that I am pretty much into, I decided to sit through the placement process. The procedure involved PPT (Pre Placement Talk), High Tea (Pizza and coke, why the hell did they keep calling it hightea????!) GD and PI. AAh I am again feeling bored now. Ok, I will still write on it. People you owe me big time.

So The company I got my job into had pretty much the same procedure. Well, they did not have high tea though. Okk. You might be tempted to judge the company on basis of whether they give away pizzas or not, but..??But nothing. It indeed is an important criterion. Anyway, I had cracked the GD previous time and was brimming with confidence for this one. The topic was ' Is there a right way of doing a wrong thing?'. And I gave the group the best start any GD can only dream of. I guided people. I literally brought the best out of people participating. At the end of the GD the panel and my 'colleagues' gave me a standing ovation, and I was offered the job without even going through the PI.

Do you want my autograph?? Send in your requests with a demand draft of Rs 1000 only right now.

Jyada ho gaya kya? Okk, If you havent figured it out yet I was lying till now. The truth is I barely spoke. Just as the GD was about to start I realised that I have a job that I am almost in love with. I am not a guy who will hamper anyone else's chance only for the heck of it. So I chose to remain silent. Not a single word from me. All people were stunned. I mean everybody knew that I would get through the GD. Well but I chose to fulfill a larger good. Well I am little wrong when I say the previous statement. I didnt do anyone any favour by not speaking at GD. I have a job, and I am going to join them, it is as simple as that. Yaa, I know I am great, plus I am humble. Rare combination.

Chal, bahut ho gayaa yaar. Ab toh sach batana hee padega. It's true that I did not utter a single word in the GD. But it wasnt because I suddenly realised the goal of my life. I didnt speak because I cudnt speak. It is as simple as that. 'Why?' is an open question. May be I didnt try hard enough. May be I was intimidated by the presence of studs in my group. May be I really am a loser. (Well. I might call myself an idiot, a loser, an asshole; but somewhere at the core of my heart I think that I am the studdest thing that ever happened to Earth.). Okk! So what exactly am I trying to prove by being this self critical? That I am being utmost truthful here? Am I?! Or Am I just trying to draw this image in front of the sole reader of this blog. Yaa, I am talking about you.

So the whole funda for sitting for another job was to have some more experience in GD and PI. After selecting few people in PIs, they were going to send them to Singapore for final round of interviews. So great-me worked out the plan that I wud clear PI, go to Singapore, have some gud time there, get an offer from there, and deny the offer saying that I would feel homesick. Well, they did get lucky this time. Bastards.

So after GD, I was sure as hell, that I wudnt get selected, but few of my friends who were over-optimistic about their performance were waiting for results, so I waited with them. So this friend of mine who had come up very aggresively on the topic ( which was the reason he did not get selected! huh!:) asks me(pretending to be an interviewer), ' Tell me two of your weaknesses?'. I said, ' Sir, doh dino se pair bahut dard kar raha hai.Sir(read it as sar or seer) bhi dard karta hai kabhi kabhi.'. And we all started laughing. Taliyan.

Anyway, This whole process did make me realise that I sudnt go and appear for job only for preparation sake. I had thought that I would write on a different topic too, but its getting late. And I sud go to sleep.

Posted in: on at at 3:27 AM 2 comments  

umm.. how do I start tonite? There are so many things that I would really like to throw up here at my blog, but I cant. I cant because people around here know me, and I dont want to be a sissy boy in their eyes. So I sometimes wonder why do I have this blog? What purpose exactly does it serve. Well, I am definitely here to impress people. People whom I know; people who most probably think that I am a big loser. I perhaps want to prove that I am not that big a loser afterall. Or perhaps I want to improve on my writing skills. What ever the reason be, why would you give a shit.

okk! I have at least started it off now. For few days, my dad is living alone as my mom has gone with my bro to help him settle at a new place. Anyway, the thing is that my dad has no one to talk to, and when he calls up, I look around for topics to talk on. Umm.. It's getting personal. And I typed few lines elaborating on the situation. But then I deleted them. Well, let me just focus on impressing the crowd.

So here is this thing that I want some people to know about me. Most of my time is spent on reading blogs. That is cool. Well, going to the field, and scoring some goals is even cooler, but lets not get into that. So I read posts, and then I might comment on it. And sometimes I dont comment. The reason being I feel idiotic everytime I comment. I go n check some of the previous comments I posted on few posts, and I still feel idiotic. I dont know if I make any sense.

I feel like ending the post right here. wel, let me type some more lines, so that it looks at least like a 'post' post. To be honest, commenting does not come naturally to me. I mean there are people who just stun me by the way they write comments. But I have to think, even if not hard, but still, to write something. and when I am done writing it, I feel like being at cloud nine, not able to stop feeling smug that I have written the best possible comment for this post. I mean it doesnt happen for every posts, but well, there are instances where it has happened. THen I see them five minutes later, and I feel stupid. I mean Real Stupid. Why am I writing this??? Umm.. I think people who have blogs will understand. If you have your own blog, and someone has just stopped to comment then you should understand tht tht poor fellow is getting treated for 'stupidity styndrom' at a mental hospital near you.

I am increasingly getting boring. I guess I will remove the link from my orkut profile. I dont want my friends to tell you all the lies that I have served here to you.

Posted in: on Monday, February 12, 2007 at at 1:38 AM 4 comments  

I cant believe that anyone can be this annoying. I mean first I name the title as 'triple huh???' and then I start off the post along the similar lines. So here's the most used line on my blog, used again. I seriously dont have anything great to write even this time. AAh! Feels like home now!

But I actually did have something to say, but then few of my lukkha friends took me to play cards, and after my disastrous performance , i was forced to think again if I was good at any game at all. Anyways, it would be a sad story, so I am not going to narrate it now. May be when the worst drought hits our country. Yupp!

So I have become more aware of the importance of blogging now. So after a series of suicides here, the students have finally managed to convince the management to impose a restriction on the number of hours they(students) should get to access internet. okk! The term 'students' does include me. And sorry for being this dramatic. Anyway, the thing is that we wont be able to access net in the night. And I am not complaining. Reason?? I have just few months to spend here now. hee hee! I just wish they delay it for next few months. And which is the reason I want to blog more often. I mean who knows when I wud have this much spare time and free connectivity again. So while I have a chance, I want to make a strong fan following in here at blogosphere. I am serious man. :|

So, an interesting thing happened last night. We had this tech festival going on for last three days here. So I didnt do anything, as should be expected. But then, I took a risk and went to see the 'sand animation'. Now I had watched the same thing but with a different artist one or two years ago. And his was great. SO I would say that I was disappointed this time. Anyway, to kill time I started to play snake on my cell. Well, I did write the reason as 'killing time' but somewhere in my mind I think I wanted to impress these two gals sitting at the back. Anyways, So the show ended in like ten minutes, while I clapped with the crowd thinking that he wud draw the 'cool stuffs' now. So he wrote 'X' and 'techfest' at the end and show was over. 'X' because it was tenth techfest from its inception. And yaa, by 'cool stuffs' I did mean 'artistic' drawing of women. 'Art'???? Yupp, Art is women without clothes. AAh, disgusting!

SO where was I?? At the 'sand animation' show. The thing is that I lost my cell phone during the show. My first feeling of course, was that it had been stolen. I dont even remember how I lost it. I was playing 'snake' then I was cracking some joke about the drawing which featured a circle and some dots in it, which I interpreted as the 'chhanni' used in karva chauth. Well, he did name the theme of the show as 'Lunar Variations'. And I know that 'moon' could have been a more precise guess, but I would rather be wrong and creative than being boring. Yaa. Please let me know if you are following any of these.

Well, So after discovering that my mobile was indeed lost, my buddy, the love of my life, used his brains and made a call to my number. 'The cellular device has been switched off' said a sexy voice from other end. I tried it too. I even asked her to tell me her name. She ignored my question.

So there I was. Away from the one thing that I really cared about. 'How would I play snake now' I thought. But I really didnt know how to react, as I was thinking of throwing it away anyway. Nokia 3310. The crappiest model possible. Plus the battery is almost dead, Which is a different and rather long story in itself. And, I am really not in the mood of boring myself to death, so I will give that a skip. Anyway, I told some of my friends that I had lost my cell to gain sympathy. They said 'acchha hua. naukari lag gayee. naya cell le, aur hamein treat de.' . I was a bit happy too, as I dreamt about the cool new handset that I will soon have. ANyway, So I had read about this 'amazing story' in a news paper that talked about 'the return of a mobile phone' after its owner, a lady, texted a series of msges. So I typed a msg with great pain which went like 'arey yaar, main bahut bhikari aadmi hun. I am sure god is watching all of us, and if you returned my cell, He will help you get sleeker cell which will also have a cam in it, with lots of dirty stuff to watch.'. okk, I didnt write the later part. But I wanted to, but typing an sms is real pain in the ass. Somehow, the msg got erased, and I thought it was not meant to be. So I had no options left. I took his mobile, and made the 'most important call of my life'. Aah! Remember SIn CIty! You gotta watch it! Okk, as it was 'most important call of my life' it had to be picked up. Someone answered the phone and asked who I was. And where I lived. For a minute, I thought that the guy was one of my friends, lallu (lull-oo), so I called him 'lallu'. He said he was not lallu. He said something about 'administrative office' and the line went dead. Battery must be the pain, I concluded. Anyway, cut the crap, he called in the morning. And I went to administartive office, and now I have the same crappy cell with me again.

chalo toh!

Posted in: on Tuesday, January 30, 2007 at at 12:22 AM 7 comments